After a while you learn that you don't need anyone else to survive.

No one is ever going to always be there, no matter what they say or what they promise you.

You just gotta it up and accept it.

 

This quote is so true, dont u think? No one really will be there when you need them. 

 

I laugh at life. Some say not to laugh at life cuz it will come back for you...but i dont care, it can take my life for all I care... it doesnt even matter.

 

I guess its just another one of those days where you wake up and nothing is going right...

I wake up to an angry bro ("Y the did you wake up so late? what are you making for breakfast? Make mine while ur at it)

I get yelled at (fine, yell all you want)

I get called heartless (fine, its better anyways)

I wanted someone to talk to, so i thought about talking to my friends (but i remebered that last time I talk to them about my problems....the only response i got was "your spreading ur negativity to us,go cry in the dark" )

(fine, then ill just keep to myself)

I dont understand my hw (ill just keep reading, keep my mind off my issues)

I get yelled at some more (have you not had enough)

I get a call from my parents asking how I am, I lie. ("I'm fine mom, everything is fine....how is dad? is he still in the hospital?" I cant tell them anything because I dont want them to worry...

 

The list just keeps going...

 

There are times where I take a break from working and I stare at the cutting knives I have in my room...contemplating...

But its always the same, I dont have the strength...

I resume my work and continue...

But I am constantly distracted by the suicidal thoughts within my head.

Pathetic isnt it?

I try to keep myself busy, but it never works.

 

It was then I slowly started to realize that iv been getting many suicidal thoughts lately...

Sounds stupid...I know....i think so too....but sometimes it seems like the right way to go.

 

I guess I am just tired. Tired of everything.

Screw. Life. I. Don't. Give. A . . Anymore.