Hey guys. So WIN ended. I’m sad that I wouldn’t be getting new videos every Friday, especially the unreleased clips. Those were gold.

Honestly, at first I liked Team A. I’ve seen them first, that’s why and also because of Kang Seung Yoon’s solo. Then somewhere along episode 3, I realized that I love Jinhwan and that I also like Team B. Since then, I just sort of got stuck between the two teams. I thought I loved the teams equally.

So yeah, D-Day and it was my first time watching the show via livestream. My internet was crappy though so I was only able to watch bits.

I was actually looking forward to the it (Final Battle). Back then, I just rooted for both teams because I thought I loved them equally. I watched the show, expecting that by the end of it, YG’s going to announce that the show is a faux, that both teams are going to debut. That’s how I viewed the competition during the past months. It was all just for hype, for fun; both teams were going to debut. I took that part lightly. But the show ended and YG didn’t walk down to the stage. He didn’t say anything. ‘Ah, it’s real. I’m not going to see them anymore.’ That’s what I thought and I was a wreck. I was crying too much. I couldn’t be happy for Team A. I was just thinking: I’m not going to see my boys anymore. That’s the first time I realized that I really love Team B more. I hated myself. I should’ve been there for them, all this time. I should’ve voted.

I realize now that it’s because I kept on watching Jinhwan. Their unreleased clips were on replay and I specially put more attention to him, just adoring his perfection.  And I started to write this. I really want to sing. If you don’t know, Inhye’s feelings sort of mirror mine. Except that I don’t work as hard as she does, and also she’s gotten closer to her dream and I haven’t. Anyway, back to topic, I watched the videos again, studying Bobby and Jinhwan. I wanted to somehow put their real traits into the story.  I invested time and effort watching their videos and that resulted to me liking them more. I don’t know why I only realized that after they lost.

Then lo and behold: articles about YG saying that he’s going to keep the trainees and I felt okay again.

Yongqi (DespisedSecret) once asked me when was the story happening: during the competition or after? Cause if it was during the competition, she said she doubted that the boys would have the time to welcome a new trainee, not when they’re closest to their dreams. And if it’s after the competition, Team B would have lost. (She said these when she did a review to my story, before she became my understanding beta-reader). I asked her, why would you say that? She never answered though and it turns out she’s right.

Honestly, I almost lost it. I didn’t know if I’d continue writing this. What is Team B if there’s no Team A? It’s just WINNER now and a bunch of trainees. I’m just writing about a bunch of trainees.

Now I’m trying to redeem myself by listening to . I feel good now. I’m not sad anymore. I’m just now looking forward to WINNER’s debut and also our boys’. I know it’s going to happen.

힘내라!

*Sigh. I was planning to make this short and I was going to put it as an author’s note but it turned out too long. To put it better,  this could be like the video logs that our WIN Boys do.