When Her Last Tear Dropped Review
When Her Last Tear Dropped Review
By KyuMin301
Title: 4/5
I really love your title! "When Her Last Tear Dropped..." Can you not just hear that at the end of a movie trailer with sad music fading out? ^o^
I'm not really sure how it relates to the story yet, but I feel like it will have something to do with the ending.
Your title is really original, I've never heard a title like that before. It doesn't really tell readers what's going to happen in the story, but it fits with the theme of the story. It's just a really nice title ^^
Appearance: 4/5
I absolute adore your poster! The colors match, it goes well with the theme, and the characters are perfectly placed and sizes. The quote looks really good; it stands out just enough so that we can read it, but doesn't draw attention away from anything else. The title is well placed on the poster as well.
The fonts in the forward and description are really bright and colorful, maybe you should tone it down a little so that it matches more with your theme. That's pretty much it!
Forward/Description: 13/15
I think that your forward and description could be reaaaallly effective if you just switched the orders up a bit. Everything was very well written, but they're not exactly in the right place. Your description, with various quotes from the story, belongs more in the forward than in the description. It has intriguing quotes from the story that make people want to go and find it in the story itself. I think the "BANG" at the end of your description would be a lot more effective if it was the last word in the forward. It would give off a strong message, and it would really be a page turner. As for all of your author notes, it would be better to move them all to one place in the forward as well; they're kind of all over the place. It would be a lot more organized and easier for the reader as well. I think you're a really great writer; the forward and description were honestly very well written, and they definitely draw the reader in.
Characters: 14/15
Your characters were wonderful~ Myungsoo isn't really a part of the story yet, but I think I have an idea of what his character might be like, just from the few parts of the story that he WAS in. You're that amazing of a writer ^^ I felt so bad for Jaemi every time someone tried to mess with her. After all, she'd done absolutely nothing wrong. You sure know how to play with someone's emotions XD I really liked your characters. The helpless, defenseless "nerdy" girl, the abusive... well, basically everyone else in the story was abusive in one way or another :P I really loved how L.Joe was this mysterious, reckless character in the beginning, and he turned out to be much more than that as we learned about his past.
The only thing I had trouble keeping up with was Teen Top's abrupt change of behavior. I understand that they have each other's backs and that they protect each other, but they seemed to be cool and relaxed people. As soon as Changjo got hurt, though, they immediately Jaemi without listening and started harassing and torturing her. Maybe they have this gang-ish side to them, but the readers don't know that.
Don't think I'm crazy, but the character I absolutely LOVED is L.Joe. I didn't necessarily like what he DID to Jaemi, but I really loved how real and believable you made him. I really don't like it when a character changes too quickly in the middle of a story because he realizes that he has feelings for someone. Even when L.Joe realized he did have some sort of feelings for Jaemi, he didn't start worshiping her and didn't follow her around everywhere the next day. He slowly progressed and finally started being somewhat nice to her. I loved that about this character. Awesome, awesome job~
Plot: 19/20
I totally LOVE your plot. It is so mysterious yet revealing... It's really awesome how the readers know about Jaemi and L.Joe's pasts and situations, yet the characters themselves don't know about each other's pasts, so they're left wondering why the other is acting that way. Usually, when an author puts songs at the beginning of their chapters, I ignore them, but all of your songs were really good and matched with the theme really well. IU's Wallpaper Design is my new favorite song now ^O^ The plot was quite twisty, but it wasn't quite twisty enough... XD It was almost the same situations every day, and it got pretty predictable: Jaemi got beat up by Jewelry and L.Joe. In the end, I was left wishing for something more, something extraordinary to happen. But that's just my opinion; I'm sure many others love the story just the way it is.
Flow: 19.5/20
The flow was awesome! I think that the story moved at a perfect pace, not too fast but not too slow. The only reason I took 0.5 off is because I think the beginning moved a liiitttle bit too quickly for my liking. Jaemi got kicked out of her house as soon as she got back from the hospital, which was only a few minutes (?) after her parents died. I think it might have been a little better if Jaekyung had built up her hatred for Jaemi slowly, to make it more anticipating for the readers.
Grammar/Spelling: 4/5
I found some common grammatical mistakes in your story:
"A long-haired girl with a pink highlight on her bangs sits beside her mother and gave her a purple box."
There were actually two grammatical errors in this sentence. Instead of "pink highlight ON her bangs," it should be "pink highlight IN her bangs." Also, you used present tense (SITS beside her mother) for one phrase and for another you used past tense (GAVE her a purple box). You can't switch tenses in the same sentence, nevertheless the same story. You should always stick to the same tense. But the rest of your story was written in past tense, so that was just a little mistake.
They were just little mistakes like that. I was able to read past them, though. Even though you said English isn't your first language, you're an amazing writer!
Originality: 15/15
I had never read a story like yours before, although I don't read much angst at all. Your plot was definitely unique. Good job! :D
Overall Enjoyment: 5/5
Overall, I thoroughly, absolutely, positively ADORED your story. I even subscribed ^^ UPDATE SOON~
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