When I was in Kindergarten, I got bullied for being too smart. I even got elbowed in the stomach. What did the six year old me do? I ran to the teacher and after that they kept giving me small noogies during class.

When I was in Primary 4, I got bullied for being too smart as well. They took my practice papers and tore them apart like nothing happened and took away my money that was meant for me to eat lunch. I'd cry in cass and they'd tell me to put my head down to hide my face and stiffle my cries so the teacher would never find out. I was ten.

When I was in Secondary 1, I got bullied for trying to act smart. So it was partially my fault and I begged for forgiveness but what did I get? All my letters of forgiveness we're laughed at early in the morning and sarcastic comments of "SO SWEET!" rang through my ears. I was crying so loufly at my desk, not caring about the world but the senseless people laughed at my misery. Endless rumours were passed around and I had no friends. Not one. Not even the loner kid wanted to be my friend. I was 13.

I'm only 14 now and I get comments for being too smart and "showing off". I have extra curriculum and the kids from the lower streams than me keep calling me names because I like to act all cocky. Maybe self confidence wasn't a factor to be accepted by the world.

It really hurts you know.

"Rich"/smart kids like me have to lie about ourselves so we can have real friends. I live in a pretty decent house but when I brought branded stuff to school, it seemed that everyone was starting to befriend me. I wasn't rich, I was just well to do.

I don't know how many people have commented about me bringing branded stuff to school. How many people I laugh with are actually laughing behind my back? How many call me pathetic for having no true friends. How many criticize me for bringing a single Carlo Rino wallet?

Does one branded wallet change everything between you and me?

I want to have true friends but it's so hard to create such things because half the people I befriend want my money. Like, I only have one such friend in school. I feel suffocated having to please people everyday.

Even in school, I'm busy on aff because there's no one in school who can really understand what I feel. I want true friends. I want someone who I can talk with without being judged. Because any words I tell to the wrong person are used against me. It's like a world of debating out there.

I really don't want to be known as "That Rich Smart Girl" :( I hope you kind people on aff are my true friends

Love,

FlamerShawol