Okay, this is NOT like my usual self. My usual self is all happy and random but right now I'm not. Why? Because of my Cousin. That's right. My cousin. Sad thing she's the same age as me. Her name? Kirsten. Because of her, I don't have much confidence. Why?

Well, she ruined my Thanksgiving. How? So I forced to sit next to her when I didn't want to since all she does is ignores me, though I don't know why. So, imagine me sitting there next to her. She didn't do anything except text. Didn't even look at me. So, when she starts coughing. I ask her, "You ok?" She completely ignored me.Joy.

During Thanksgiving, she baked THREE HUGE pies. So my family's all like, "Wow!" and "Good job!" While I sit there not saying anything but I was actually proud of her. Anyway, so when my aunt asks me if I wanted some, I said no since I was full and my aunt looked at me as if I was a STRANGER. I could feel Kirsten snicker at me. Awesome.

This time, I wanted to talk to her, so I joke and ask, "Are you half-Japanese?" Since she lived in Japan and I was just kidding like we used to when we were kids.

She looked at me with disgust and she's all like, "No. We're related." Dude, she said related as if it was POISON. "Why, are YOU Japanese?" I answer no. Her reply: Exactly. What it really means: Duh, you dumb s**t. I can't believe we're related.

I can't believe we're related too, dude.

I can't stand her. She insulted my home country, which is the lovely Philippines. She was staying at my house and told me how much she hated it. I was silent, heck, I lived there for 9 years. You know how much it hurts when you hear it from your own COUSIN?

She said these word, "Anime is for losers. Like, ew." In front of my brother's face. She can insut me but if she does it to my BROTHER, I swear...

Speaking of brother, HER brother. He's exactly like her! My brother doesn't see it since he looks up to him but her brother makes fun of mine and my brother can't even defend himself.

She also insulted my choice of music which will be Asian Music. She said it was 'gay' even though she HERSELF is Asian. How dare she. She KNOWS how much I LOVE my Music.

She has HONORS in school while I'm stuck with one. Family's all like "Wow!! Good job, Kirsten!" How she beamed. Family turned to me and all I can is say, Um,I have one..."

What's worse is my parents compare me to her saying how perfect she is and how I should be like her. No. Just No. My Asian parents.

I don't know what I did wrong. I e-mailed and was so excited to see her but then she changed one day. Ignoring me and suddenly texting all the time and ignoring me. What did I do? I don't even see her since she lives in LA right now. Guess she matured.

She's HONORS, can bake & cook, smart, and so much more. Me? I don't even know.

I know what you guys are thinking. Probably like, "Geez, Yna, she's your cousin, what the heck?" Well, I'm sorry but...why is she so mean to me? I guess it's because I'm not mature or smart enough for her, huh? I think there's one thing I can beat her at and it's my violin though her brother can play better.

Well, my confidence went away. Thanks.

I'm done. I'm leaving for a few days. Sorry. I just can't write right now. I promise I will come back.

I hope you guys will forgive me when I hopefully come back.

Yna