Y’know what. I am SO TIRED. I am so tired of wondering whether or not I’m crazy. I’m tired of wanting to talk to someone and not knowing how. I’m tired of feeling like I have to ask whether it’s alright for me to talk to you or not. I’m tired of feeling like i’d crush someone if i tell ‘em straight up so I avoid them the best I can. I’m tired of running away. I’m tired of avoiding. I”m tired of not fitting in. I’m tired of being looked at funny. I’m tired of being socially awkward to extremes. I’m not crazy, I know i’m not.

Wanna know why I talk to myself so much? It’s because I don’t have anyone to truly listen to me without them being weirded out. Wanna know why I get depressed, angry and sad all the time? Its cause i’m screwed up to the bone. I’m emotionally unstable as a teenager with abandonment issues and a messed up family. For a time in my life those were the only emotions I could ever feel, and they often just end up as my default. I’m tired.

I just wish there was someone who wouldnt judge me and be by my side. Infact everytime I describe the  person i’d like to mary I end up describing God or Jesus (same person e n e ). This is how I am when I’m depresseed.