So this semester I'm taking a class and on the second day we had to say one "unusual" fact about ourselves as a sort of ice breaker thing. I chose to say that I was a big k-pop fan and all that because here, k-pop isn't that popular [besides Psy but...no just no.] So anyways, at the end of class, one of my classmates started talking to me about k-pop and how she loves all SM groups. Immediately things clicked for us and we became good friends.

Now, I know we've only been in school for a few months but I found it funny that I was actually following this girl on Tumblr for the longest time before we even met in person. Days passed and I guess you can say that I developed a crush on her. I'm not afraid to say it. Before class, we'd talk to each other, in class we'd sit next to each other and talk when the teacher doesn't care, and then after class I'd walk her to her car and everything. After the first day of walking with her, we'd always go separate ways with a hug before saying bye. She makes me laugh and we make all of these SM jokes and what not. I couldn't help but have my eye on her. Trust me, I tried not to think of her as someone I'd want to date because it's only been a few months and who knows, I think I really am moving to another country in a couple years [it's in the planning stage] but I just couldn't help it.

You're probably thinking, "Where the hell does Taeny come in this? WHY DID YOU LOSE HOPE?!"

Well, we'd have conversations after class about SM and of course that includes SNSD. One day we were walking to her car [she has an oppa that joins us too but he isn't into k-pop] and so one day she goes, "Ha! It's like we're the three musketeers." ^^

And I start thinking of any 3 membered k-pop groups. Who comes up? "It's like we're TaeTiSeo!"

Her eyes widen and she goes, "Then I wanna be Tiffany!"

So then I go, "Well I'm Taeyeon!" Her oppa didn't say anything because he didn't care. xD We dubbed him as Seo. Anyways, I jokingly said, "Taeny!" and I wrap my arm around her. I don't know if that was my subconscious side trying to hint with her that I like her, but I didn't mean to. Not really at least >< In my head though, I dubbed her as Tiffany and to me, I already feel like I'm Taeyeon.

I mean, I guess I can relate to that dorky leader a lot. I don't think I'm cute at all, but my oppa would say that I'm cute in a way. I like really hard hitting strong songs that they've done like "Wake-up" and "Run Devil Run", Taeyeon does epic performances of "Devil's Cry". We both don't like burdening people with our problems [trust me guys, you don't know how much I let slide here on AFF] One of my friends even said she wrote a Taeny fan fic and that she thought of me as Taeyeon while she was writing. So, yeah, I guess we're alike in some ways.

Anyways, earlier today, we were outside of the classroom door, talking and all that, and somehow the topic comes up again of who we were like in the k-pop world and she goes, "I'm Tiffany! I really think I'm like her. I love the color pink!"

And again I go, "I'm Taeyeon! People tell me I'm like her in a way and I guess that's true."

We couldn't go too much into the conversation because our teacher came and we had to go in class. So in class, we sat side by side and couldn't help laughing and joking around before class even started. People were even looking at us weird since we were really crazy [and more than half the class didn't show up. O.o] Her oppa was just really like "omg..." but he's cool.

Eventually we had to quiet down while role was being called, but afer that the class kept joking around again because I really think our teacher didn't care since less than half of the class was in. We kept poking each other and fake punching/slapping each other and just being really giggly.

Then I turned to look at "Tiffany" again and spotted a ring on her finger. I've never seen this ring until now so...yeah. I don't know where it came from. At first I thought That's a really pretty ring. But then I realized it was on her RING FINGER. So I paused for a moment and had to think if whether or not it really was on her ring finger....it was. I pursed my lips, staring at the ring and then looked at her with a small smile. "Nice ring." I complemented while poking the diamond on it.

She looks at it and smiles going, "Yeah. I like it." and "Tiffany" starts admiring the thing on her finger.

As a joke, I go. "What's it for? Is it a wedding ring?" I chuckle softly.

"Tiffany" shakes her head and goes. "It's a promise ring. My boyfriend gave it to me." And she smiles. 

Boyfriend....my heart sank in my chest but I still kept a smile. I didn't want her to know how sad I was starting to get. I ended up saying, "Boyfriend?" in a joking manner, just to make it seem like I was fine.

Then "Tiffany" nods and goes, "Yeah. My boyfriend." then she scoffs and says very sarcastically, "Naw! I made a promise to someone in SHINee!" And she starts laughing really hard about it.

As much as I wanted to laugh along with her about it, I just really couldn't. The whole boyfriend thing was bringing me down. Now don't get me wrong, I'm happy for her. She has someone that she can call her own and be in a relationship with. I just knew that I shouldn't try being...too close to her anymore. If I get any closer to her, then I'd end up liking her too much and wishing she were mine instead of his. I don't want that mentality. I just want to think of her as my friend. Nothing more than that because she belongs to her boyfriend.

It's really hard to want to just stay friends though. During class she kept poking me, joking with me, I couldn't help but start crushing on her even more! Plus, I drove her around the campus to her car [I didn't want her to walk, and the short cut to her car was blocked off due to renovations.] On the way to her car, the song "Beautiful Stranger" by f(x) starts playing in my car and I told her how I wrote an English Vesion to the song. So I start singing.

This is where it practically became impossible to not like her. She started complimenting me and my lyrics, saying that it was great and she wanted me to record it personally for her so she could put it on her playlist. She even said, "I'm a...Jeo-ner!...Jeo-ner? Jeo-one? Whatever! I'm your number one fan! I'm expecting a recording of this!" I tell her about how I plan on recording it and putting it on youtube with my other videos and she goes, "Deal! As long as it's recorded! I want this on my phone!" Can someone tell me how am I supposed to not have crush on her now?! Either way though, I know I won't try anything because she's taken.

But, that's where I lost hope in Taeny. Of course the "Taeny" in this being me and her. It knowing that I can't "chase" after her anymore, but I know that I'll be happy for her and her boyfriend. I guess this is just puppy love that I fell into. But I guess this is a good thing too because if I get into a relationship and I do leave, then it's pretty much a relationship that's bound to end because I don't do long distance relationships anymore. If [and WHEN] I start a new life after my move to the PH, I'll be able to REALLY look for a girlfriend because then I could just stay there and not have to worry about moving again. It's funny though, when I told my oppa about how I wanted to introduce him to her, the first thing he texts me back with is, "OMG are you two dating?!" No oppa. We're just friends. That's what we'll always be.