Friday!!! Which is RANTING TIME!

So most of my friends are poop. No one's still talking to me. I want to get wiped off the face of the earth. I have gone low enough to think that after senior year. I'm suiciding... I have no future ahead for me anyone. I haven't decided on a major nor a career I want to pursue. I haven't done anything good in my life at all.

In summary, I may take things for granted but I want friends to talk to and no one this year has reached a hand out and offered it to me except for people that live that no where near me. I wish I went to your school and you guys know who you are <3 But seriously, I can't even look in my friends' eyes anymore cause our "friendly" relationship has gone down so much.

I can't even call my "sister" a sister anymore. I'm just sick and tired and I'm even throwing a bday party and it's mostly for them!!! I don't even want to do it anymore. I feel like I'm too easy and being taken for guaranteed.

Man Man Ha Ni??!?!? I probably am. I tell my secrets cause I trust ppl so easily but lately that hasn't been happening. I'm even more closed off than before... Every time I think of them gets me so frustrated and makes me want to cry. Just yesterday I got so angry I stabbed my homework and there were holes in it so I couldn't turn it in...

It was just horrible. I honestly can't stand another school day with them. Not even another school year. I hate them so much. Maybe it's also my fault for not reaching out and asking for help either, but what can I say?!?

"hey I have a problem!" I just can't say my thoughts which is why i choose to blog more... And then when they ask, I just say that everything is okay. It's a total lie but I wish one of them would just sit me down, talk, and let me cry all the tears I've been holding back all summer up untiil now...

I just dont know anymore. I've been just down in the dumps and it's soo easy for me to act like everything is okay, but the moment I step inside my house, my mental state totally breaks down. I just don't know who to talk to anymore...

But thank you to my friends here on AFF and on my FB fan account for being by my side. I really appreciate all the things you guys say and support. It just lets me know that they're are still amazing and good people out there <3