Hey guys. It's been awhile since I last blogged and there's so much going on.

Friends are still being crappy and they are still blaming me and talking behind my back.

The irony is that they think I can't hear them but I can. Especially in class.

Is it so hard to confront someone? I'm trying to keep my calm and I'm getting myself back into kpop and being the original me again. But it's so hard when your school is so 'judgemental' about everything little thing you do.

Then when it seems like all your friends turned their backs on you. Like I seriously can't handle this stress and stupidity of these closed-minded people.

There are times where I feel so abandoned and excluded, I start to think if I was really meant to live in this world, in this time period. I start to get those depressing and suicidal thoughts that I promised myself I would try to leave behind. But they caught up to me and it's happeneing all over again.

There's no real friend I can truly trust cause they're all the same. They go blab it somewhere else. And it's not fair for them or for me if they keep wondering and asking me about how and why I can't trust them. They don't reflect on themselves and immediately blame others.

I know I have my flaws but who doesn't? I know I'm not perfect. I know I have an attitude. I know I can be a handful. But only a real and true friend would be able to put up with it. So who can I really count on, besides the internet. Oh the irony in that. My parents always told me to never trust the internet, yet I'm finding more friends online than I ever could at school.

All these bottled up emotions are making me so frustrated. Even my friends on here are probably annoyed of my blogs.

I just need a place to vent. If I could teleport or move, I would but I don't have that ability. My hometown is suffocating me and it's impossible for me to breathe now.