It's been a very looooooong time since I felt this piercing pain inside my chest -__-" SERIOUSLY.

I almost forgot how it feels like to have a broken heart, but now I'm feeling it again...

AND FOR A STUPID SHALLOW REASON!

Yeah I know I should be somehow matured right now when it comes to these things but can I freakin' tell my heart what to do??? Well, I wanted to let this out on facebook or twitter but I feel more comfortable here.

So, what's my STUPID SHALLOW reason???

My KANGTEUK Feels o_O

You see, weeks ago I made a roleplay account in facebook. I went by the name "NapakaPoging Kangin" (Most Handsome Kangin) for one specific reason: Stalk the roleplay account of Leeteuk >:) I didn't know why but I really wanted to stalk that account over the other Leeteuk roleplay accounts. But by that time, Leeteuk was under a break-up with a Kangin roleplay account. So I was just there, silently stalking and whatnot.

And then one day I couldn't open my account anymore. It was blocked/reported. I just let it pass for a few days. But I had this urge to make another account because I really really really want to continue stalking (and hopefully get the attention of that Leeteuk hyung account) so I made another one! And this time, I got lucky! I got to chat with him for a few minutes :) I was all butterflies inside hahaha don't know why!!!

But then my account got freakin' blocked/reported again!!!

The stupid thing is that I made another one. For the same reason. Stalking purposes and wishful thinkings >:)

Some roleplay accounts and other real accounts asked me to RS (have relationship status) with them. I always answer "Sorry, I'm waiting for a Teukie hyung account :("

That's not the reason I'm whining here right now.

Just this morning my roleplay account received a message asking if I already have a Teukie hyung because if not, there's an account she would like to suggest. I asked for the link... and got in a state of shock when I saw that it was the account I'm stalking!!! So I told her that I've been stalking that account for quite some time now. We continued to chat for a while... and then turned out I don't have a chance.

Right now I'm feeling so down and gloomy -___-"

JUST BECAUSE OF A STUPID ROLEPLAY ACCOUNT, RIGHT???

Well, I guess for me it's more than that.

I'm having this feeling of just deactivating the account... or just find another Leeteuk roleplay account...

or maybe I could just continue to stalk coz it makes me happy :)

OR maybe I should just update my freakin' fics already because in there, nothing can destroy my KangTeuk feels (except for sudden accidents and deadly diseases o_O)

Now I can seriously say that I somehow feel what Kangin feels @_@

Life's sad without Teukie hyung.

- Kangin -