okay, so it's finally time for me to properly recap. i only posted my experience on day one, so i'm not going to talk about it that much. day two is where everything happened (well, excluding seeing yoo seungwoo lol)

well, first things first, my friends and i had learned from our lesson of waking up late and arrived at the venue around 7, which was pretty okay. i made a couple of friends in line once again, which was also pretty cool. but once again, it was super disorgananized. i felt bad because i had to just squish into another line to get in faster, but luckily the people i squished next to said that they were okay with it. 

oh, but before that, my friends and i made up like a billion inside jokes while waiting LMAO like i said in my last post (or at least i think i did...?), i saw dynamic duo, but i didn't stay the whole time because i'm not a huge fan of them

myfriendwasmadbecauseshewantedtoseethemandionlywenthalfwaywhoops

so basically, i was going to talk about them, but i made the best and worst mistake ever. i was like, "oh, but dynamic D.O. was so cool!" or something along those lines and it wasn't even on purpose LMAO #closeenough this just proves how special kyungsoo is to me haha 

and let's see... AH, I SAW HENRY UP CLOSE. so basically, he had a panel because he was going to be in a movie, which is totally in english and it's about cooking, so there was a whole line waiting. i made a lot of friends there too, which was pretty sick. and well, we got close up to where the tent itself was, but we were in the back so we sadly couldn't sit down, BUT AT THE SAME TIME IT WAS OKAY BECAUSE I SAW HENRY UP CLOSE. he entered in through the back which was open, so we got to see him. i didn't take a fancam though, because my phone was dying OTL but that's okay because he was so perfect up close. 

waiting in line with everyone there was funny though, because we were all being so stupid and making SM jokes because he didn't come at the time he was supposed to arrive /exactly/ so we blamed SM because it's an SM thing LOL and then we were like, even if the arist isn't associated with SM, if they're late it's SM's fault LOL 

but yeah, i saw henry up close, but didn't stay the whole hour of him talking (sadly) because i wanted to line up quickly for the concert. and so, i got seperated from my friends again ( i go solo guys LMAO), and eventually lined up. but another sign of disorganized-ness showed because some people got in SUPER early even though they said they would open gates at 4. sigh. 

but i met a really cool girl and we started to ship each other with ourselves LMFAO we shared a lemonade and everything <3 but that's off topic yet not off topic.

but anyway- OH I FORGOT SOMETHING VERY ESSENTIAL. did any of you guys happen to see pictures of this one PERFECT  Amber cosplayer? SHE WAS ABSOLUTELY GORG. like, i would've thought she was Amber if she was far away. but damn, up close she was so pretty and totally rocked the boyish style. BUT NOT TO MENTION SHE ACTED LIKE AMBER TOO SHE DID THE WHOLE HANDS TOGETHER BOW THING WHEN SHE SAID THANK YOU AND DID AMBER'S SMILE AS WELL WHEN MY FRIEND TOOK A PICTURE. not to mention these FREAKING CUTE TEEN TOP COSPLAYERS OH MY GOD I SCREAMED WHEN I SAW THEM I'M SO AWKWARD I CAN'T BE SUBTLE AROUND CUTE BOYS I'M SORRY. 

okay, but now, it's time to talk about the concert. so basically, it was pretty messy getting in, but i hooked arms with my friends and we ran down to get good places. while we were running down, tears were streaming down my cheeks because i was so happy and i couldn't believe that this was /actually/ happening right now. 

the concert was...absolutely amazing. all of the performances were amazing, but who i can remember most are yoo seungwoo and exo. they... i just. okay, well, this is going to be really derp and personal as i talk about the concert, because it also has to do with stuff about me, but i don't want to go too in depth with it because i want to talk about them. 

so, as you guys probably have known from all of my rants about life, i'm a pretty moody person, sometimes it's more than that. and well...when i saw exo and yoo seungwoo, all of the tears i've been holding in and all of the urges that i had were finally released. seeing them...was an absolutely dream. the 13 boys i saw (exo plus yoo seungwoo of course) made me feel something that i truthfully haven't felt in a long time. 

happiness. 

true, geniuine happiness. 

this happiness...was so overwhelming. they were there. they were right there. and right then, i cried. i cried and let everything out of my system, i let out all of my heartaches and bad thoughts, and turned them into tears, shaking, and well, screaming. yoo seungwoo's cute face and voice made me cry because he's my "guitar hero". he's young and super talented, a person that i rooted on since the beginning of SSK4, and there he was right in front of me once again. well, maybe not /right/ in front of me, but hey, it was close enough. close enough for me to realize how much i actually loved him. the fact that he was right in front of me made me feel like i was on cloud nine, i didn't want it to end. 

a few more artists went on, but it was when EXO went, i totally broke down. it was even worse than when i saw seungwoo all 3 times. this is slightly off topic, but in my english class there was a question in my quiz saying whether we thought of celebrities as heroes, heroes being the topic of the class atm. i bet majority of my class said no, saying that they didn't deserve the attention they were getting because there were actual people putting their lives on the line to save people instead of just smiling for a camera. that's true, i think it's true. 

but when it comes to my idols, it's completely different. my idols, my boys, my girls, my babies, my everything...they mean the world to me. tbh, they're the reason why i want to keep going, why i keep fighting and working hard. to others this may sound stupid or maybe it seems like i'm overexaggerating, but i'm telling you, it's the truth. i've never held something so close to my heart. 

i'm crying rn and listening to don't go doesn't help either

well, when exo came on, i had a mental breakdown. the boys i loved the most were right there. they were right ing there. i was actually in the same room as them, breathing the same air, and there they were, having the time of their lives while performing for their many admirers, including me. i felt like i was in a dream, i was in heaven. i remember the whole time, while my throat was dying and my head was spinning, i kept singing my heart out because i wanted them to know that i loved them. stupid, right? they probably couldn't even hear me, my voice was probably just another within the crowd of people.

but that's okay. i cried the whole time. my body was shaking and i seriously couldn't comprehend the situation. i was covering my mouth, trying to suppress my wimpers, but i just couldn't help it. the boys who helped -

i need to pause for a second. typing it real time and i can't help but start crying again at the the thought of them. they seriously mean so much to me. 

man, i just. i can't

dammit why did baby don't cry go on seriously you exo 

okay, trying to go back on track. well, these boys mean absolutely everything to me. i don't know what i did without them before. back then when i was still in the ph, i didn't know that the boy i first saw dancing to "My Lady" would be part of the group that would mean the most to me along with B1A4. i just...

when they spoke, my heart stopepd and i couldn't help myself any longer. kyungsoo was stupid and was being such a cutie, i like died right there. but...i just...

i'm sorry this blog is starting to get really cut off but i can't stop shaking because i'm think about exo again. they make me so happy, but i'm so sad because i never got to tell them how i feel.

well, before i go into that, i'll continue with the concert. well, basically, when they performed 365, probably my least favortie song in the album (  lol gomen to those who like it a lot, i like it too but not as much as the others haha ), i've never smiled so much. smiling while tears were running down my cheeks and i was shaking so hard. i was waving my exo fan furiously, in hope of catching their eye, although i knew that was basically impossible. i was hoping a camera would spot me too, maybe so they could get a glimpse of my face, but at the same time i seriously didn't want one to because i probably looked like with all of those tears. 

while they performed, i finally broke into a million pieces when they left and squatted on the ground. this i remember perfectly because i was so depressed, liek i am now. post-concert depression is the worst. i was shaking and crying, i felt the girl next to me softly rub my back, which was super sweet of her and i hugged my friends, probably covering their clothes in my tears lmao 

after the concert, well, the tears started to flow again and i broke down another time. i remember while i was walkign out, i was just silently sobbing with tears streaming down my face. /i actually saw exo/ i recall yelling out while i was walking up and crying, "I JUST SAW ING D.O" and these boys behind me laughed. lol 

and while i was waiting for my parents, i immediately called my friend and started crying again, people were staring but whatever, and when i talked to her again today, she said she couldn't understand a word i was saying but could only comprehend things like "exo", "yoo seungwoo", and "henry" lmao 

but well...as you can see there, exo means a lot to me. all of my idols mean a lot to me. hopefully one day i'll be able to tell them this, but for now, i'm okay with silently watching them from behind my laptop screen c: 

well, that is, until they come here once again. 

well, i'm blanking out and went on tumblr so now i need to do homework so bye guys <3 

if i cant somehow contact the friends i made, i'll upload the picture of me and jackie <3