Please judge me... i'm too young to judge myself T^T. 

Okay... so if you live in Malaysia you would know that we're on a 2 weeks holiday since last week. My family decided to spend the time in Japan.... 

So its in one night, i'm a crossdressing girl walking around Shinjuku area along then saw this good looking men giving out papers, and to women only. He made eye contact with me, and do you know the feeling when the person wants to say something but just couldn't , that's what i see in his eyes. A few seconds of eyes gazing then he left and keep giving out the papers. But after his papers are out, he went to grap two friends and bring them to approach me. He used japanese that i know so this is what we talked about. 

Guy: "Hi! you're kawaii! would you like to be a HOST?"

me: "O.O ....-_-.....okay..." 

So, yes now i'm a host in this club in shinjuku for the past week (started on tuesday). I'm pretty tall for the average height of asian men so they didn't second guess my age besides i act more mature than 3/4 of them (no lies). As a host, the job involves many drinking but i'm 13 so i don't drink. I was going to do it for only a night but then the pay... i have to say the pay is sweet. So i keep working there and shop in the day! 

But hosts are profesional con-artists, i'm just worried.... by the way these gorgeous people that work here have a very good reason to work as a host, but some of them i have to say better off with another job. Its pretty sad, but hey.... I mean they didn't even made sure if i'm a boy or a girl, they still think i'm a boy though....

So... should i quit? I feel really bad to serve different women every 20 minutes and feed them sweet lies right rom my mouth. But its like they know they're being tricked still they cope with that to meet the men. What should i do, 300,000 yen per night is so tempting but the guilt, ugh... 

help me eonnie T^T....