I honestly dunno what to do anymore.

I dunno what to do, what to say and where to start.

All I know is that she's gone now.

I really want to believe that her sister was lying to me. I really wish this is just a prank from her.

I refused to take this.

How can she ended things that way when she's the one who's begging me to get better?

She was there when I was bedridden alone in that stinky hospital.

She was there whenever I got appoinment with that ty guy.

She was there when I needed someone the most.

She was always there for me. Even when we're seperated miles away. Even when I keep calling her in the middle of my sleepless night.

There were times where I yearn for her voice more than my mother's.

She's one of those few who sincerely cares about me. She picked me up when am at my lowest even when I know she had it worst. She didn't forgets me like all my other so-called friends. She promised me that we'll get better together. She said we'll meet again on the 9th eid, she promised that she'll come to my house and we'll have a long talk. I was so looking forward for that day.

If it's not for her, I don't know what will I become... 6 months are more than enough for me to love her so much that it's painful for me to accept this.

Aima, I thought you said you want to go to the AFA with me, the cf, you want to walk into all BL stores in Ikebukuro, see all those fancy dressers in Harajuku... You said one day we'll go to Japan together...

You said it yourself you want to be with me to see the world. To understand whether the world is as cruel as we think it is.

But you're the one who's cruel.

You watch me till I can stand on my feet again, then off you go.

What do you think I'll feel when I text you all day and there's no reply?

When I calls you and keep reaching the voicemail? And when someone picks up my call it wasn't you?

Can you tell what it feels like when I read your text message from last night?

Is this what you meant by 'Keep it up love, you'll see the world for me'?

Now tell, to whom am gonna rant on the tiness of the new update of our favorite manga?

to whom am gonna blab about the epicness of snk?

and didn't you said you want to see what's gonna happen to makoto and rei?

IT'S ING TONIGHT! IF ONLY YOU WAIT, YOU CAN SEE IT YOURSELF GODDAMMIT!

If only I can, I'll tell it to your dead face that I hate you. I hate you so much for being so selfish. I hate you aima.

I'm gonna hate you so much that I'll remember you till the day I die.

Maybe... I'm gonna named my daughter Aima too, if I ever had one.

I'm not gonna brood over you. I've had it enough of brooding and moping myself anyway...

I'll just let you know what have you done was pure stupid. Well, you probably knew it yourself.

Today, just like 6 month ago, you, Nor Aima Halisa, left a deep mark in my life.

14 august 2013, 9:30 p.m. , You finally gave up.