At the Eleventh Hour

Title: 5/5

The title, At the Eleventh Hour, fits perfectly with the story considering it’s a horror. It makes the reader anticipate what is going to happen at the eleventh hour along with the eleventh hour itself. It also reminds me of the Doctor Who episode titled The Eleventh Hour, but in a good way. I’m sure it’s supposed to have symbolism of sorts, but I haven’t really seen anything in the story yet referring to the title.  

Description/Foreword: 9.5/10

The description is perfect. It gives away the right amount of background information/introduction to the two-shot while sparking the readers’ interest. The only reason I docked off a point was for the layout. The only thing that annoyed me a bit was how you centered one part of it, but then the rest wasn’t centered. It’s not a big deal at all which was why I only took .5 of a point off.

Character Development: 23/25                

Even though the characters have two very different lives; Krystal is an idol, while SooJin is a poor girl living in the streets of San Francisco, they have subtle characteristics alike. For example, Krystal is being watched and is afraid while SooJin is being watched by a man who the readers don’t know yet. There are more similarities between the characters, and I bet there will be more differences and similarities shown between the two girls as the story progresses. But for now, there only 2 chapters, so the readers don’t know all that much about the two yet which is why I can’t give full points.

Appearance: 5/5

The background fit with the horror/dark theme perfectly. As for the poster, I feel like the character’s faces were too bright and it seemed harsh against the black background of the poster. But, it’s just a personal reference so I didn’t knock off any points.

Originality/Plot: 20/20 

Maybe it’s because I don’t read horror stories here on aff that often, but I really liked the originality in this fic. Normally in obsession stories, it’s just about the obsession itself, but there’s never the extra factor which your story had.  You added the details about the OC and how she’s a doppelganger. It made the plot more interesting. Also, it’s rare to see an idol obsession shown in this light before, and I really liked that. You also executed the originality of your story effectively. It wasn’t too original; it was perfect and it was evidently shown in your writing. 

Flow: 10/10

So far there’s the right amount of details given plus how much you drag the details out is great. It’s not too overwhelming which I liked a lot. Usually, authors drag out the details out way too much which can get annoying after a while. Other than that, the order of events flow together perfectly and there wasn’t a point where I was confused.

Grammar/Spelling: 20/20           

There were no major errors that I could find. Although there was a small mistake that I caught;

“There wasn’t even a drop of beer on the table on the spotless table.”

Here you used table twice which is fine which is why I didn’t deduct any points.

General 5/5

Overall, I really enjoyed the story so far. I have to admit at one point; I was a little freaked out myself.  I even subscribed because I can’t wait to see how the plot folds out.

97.5/100 points