Yeah... having subscriber is a good things but I am confessing that I am scare....

Yeah.. if i reach 200 subscribers.. it should be a good thing but... if the number decreased...I couldn't help myself to wonder.. where did i wrong.. I would wonder if my subscriber hate me or there's just hundreds of thought running around in my head...

It distract me a lot evevrytime i got a subscriber or lose one... If only i don't how much subscriber i get and get to write without worrying anything... but writing i fun to me.. I rather get critic from my friends rather than my teacher humiliated me in front my classmates.. I am at writing.. i know that.. but it's fun to create a story that you own and you are the one who decide how the story will develop... it's something only author can get...

I distract myself from my problems by writing... I am trouble magnet... ahh.. my bad luck...I am always lonely too.. evrytime i don't do anything.. I will think and every problem would run in my mind.. automaticly my mind would think about bad memories and how i hate myself...

I hate myself about that... so the only thing that help me is by writing... I am manipulating it... so i would just jump into my author mode and absorb into my other dimension.. I just think of myself as one of the character and develop my storyline and ignore everything else.. maybe that why my classmate found me always in silent mode or just call me blur..

I hate them sometime..

You hate your classmate?

Yeah i hate most of them.. but i love some of them too... but nothing can be help by the way they think... I am scare by how they think of someone else..

that make me coward.... I am scare of everything.. when you have once been betrayed... You will paranoid... I am paranoid..

I only trust a person... If that person betray me too.. I will die that moment.. whether from heartbreak or I will kill myself...