I don't know whether anyone noticed but I have kinda been missing the last few weeks... *crickets*

Erm. Well. I've had a really busy couple of weeks. 

I got friendnapped, then I had to pack cos I realised I was moving (like I didn't know this months ago), then we got told that our old landlords would bill us for a professional cleaning service if the house wasn't up to scratch and because we are all skint we decided to scrub the house from top to bottom cos no way were we getting charged for a mess when we were given a house that was digusting when we moved in. So now I'm living at my mum's, I'm working in a charity shop, I started going to church and bible study again, I have been to see my doctor and I have somehow been foisted with a 10-year-old.

Don't get me wrong - I love kids. I have been told I am a naturally caring person. However I am currently in the same mood as Eeyore and Dani (the girl I am looking after 3 days a week) is like Tigger. All weekend I have a bouncy pre-teen constantly asking me questions, and she never stops talking or moving or fidgetting. I would say she has ADHD but I know she is calmer around other people - that might be because she is incredibly shy. She refuses to talk louder than a whisper in front of people she doesn't know and she can become extremely anxious, getting shakes, when she is left alone. So I am looking after her. It means I have less time. 

Also I have left university. Quit. Intercalated. Taking a break. However you look at it, I will not be going back to uni this Sept however I may go back next Sept. I don't know whether many people know here (I don't exactly keep it a secret but I don't know who I tell) but I have bipolar affective disorder and I am currently on a high dose of antidepressants and mood stabilizers. Hence university and I weren't getting on... hopefully I will eventually feel up to going back and finishing. Maybe not. Who knows? 

Anyway I am now on full job seeking mode. I have discovered I am woefully underqualified and am pissed off at myself.

Plus my mum has told me that I have to help her sort out her house over the summer and then she is going to put it on the market and move in with her boyfriend. Said boyfriend doesn't have room for me so I will technically be homeless come Sept/Oct if I don't find somewhere to live. So I have no job, no home, no car, no love life, few friends. 

Basically this is a rant at myself / an explanation of my absence. 

I feel like Marvin (Hitchhiker's Guide anyone?)

Main point is... I'm writing again!!!!!!! My plan:

• I will update Bu Bu Jing Xin or Step By Startling Step on Sunday. A double update with an extra long chapter. Already sorted, just need to polish and finish off.
• Will be posting a KyuMin this weekend for my awesome friend's birthday cos she is amazing and I owe her so much!
• Confidence will be updated by Tuesday/Wednesday - I have already written half of it. I just need to finish it. I feel really guilty about this cos I haven't updated in 4 weeks :(
• Beautiful Stranger is planned and partly written. Will finish next week and have up by next weekend.
• I am writing a MinSu for Sharl cos she guessed that Yunho was the Mongolian King (by a random fluke), so I owe her a story and she wants a fluffy MinSu so I shall deliever one... hopefully soon as long as I don't get distracted. 
• Plus if someone remind me to actually start finish writing the YunJae BBJX side/back story. (Miki I am looking at you)

This is more a reminder to myself to get my arse into gear than anything. By posting this I am pushing myself to get going. My stepbrother gave me a lecture on motivation early today. It wasn't exactly thrilling or interesting but it did get me thinking. 

Not sure how to end this. It's 2.30am and I have to be up at 6am. I am feeling crappy and I hope people aren't too annoyed at me for disappearing. 

I'm going to go cuddle with my cat on the sofa to go to sleep.