when my sister and her guy friend are together and I want to hang out with them, they get quiet and don't talk much.

but now that i'm inside, I can hear them chatting away and laughing.

am I really that much of a bother to be around?

my friend said "there are reasons why you're lonely. The things you do make you lonely."

and I just said "oh."

and her only reply was "exactly."

is it my personality that makes people not want to be around me? If so, I can change. I promise. I just don't want to feel lonely anymore.

I feel like I truly have no friends in my area and only the people on the Internet are my friends.

but even then, they are still not friends.

I can tell them all I want about me, but they truly are not there for me to hug me or verbally, to me, in person, tell me that I am not lonely or that they're there for me.

What if I were to do something to myself and never tell my friends on the Internet? They would never know.

This blog makes me feel lonelier than ever.

I don't have any friends.

At least, not ones that live in my state.

I know there is a lot of people on the Internet I would definetly call my friends if I were to meet them, but what if they get annoyed by me too?

I'm going to end up lonely no matter what.

This feeling balls and I hate it.