my neighbors have asked me to babysit for them on New Year's Eve.

and I agreed to because I really need the money right now.

yet, if some of you can remember, this is around the time last year that Bubbie was getting sick.

she would sleep all day and do nothing and we had to carry her around because we thought she was just tired a lot.

and I always laid next to her and slept with her because she didn't want to move and I was okay with it as long as I got to be next to her.

and she kept me warm and I kept her warm and I never knew there was anything wrong with her until it was truly too late to help her anymore from kidney failure.

if only we had taken her to the vet earlier.

we could have saved her.

i regret never knowing that there was something wrong with my own dog, who I hand picked from the all the other dogs.

my dog, the dog that was shivering in the corner of a crate box beside her brother.

she was never the prettiest dog, but she was cute in her own way.

and she was suffering and I never knew it.