Hey guys it's me again^ ^ So in the past my writing has been for me to be able to escape reality, and fangirl over people I may never meet. But lately I had a wake up call on to why I want to write, now it's not just some outlet to my hard life, now it has become a way so I can empower and make the reader feel good about themselves. (Now that I'm fully all about being realistic and honest with myself) Now it has become a real art, a type of art that can make people smile and feel enjoyment. Also lately, I have been looking into why I fangirl, I mean yes, all of the guys I used to fangirl over are really good looking and talented. But as a true musician I'd rather be more into the music rather then the person who is singing it. In that I have become more of a "Simon and Martina" you know, from eatyourkimichi? And they have really good points. And I even had this problem where I'd fangirl and fantasize over good looking guys from my school. I can tell you I am done with that, because under all that beauty was a jackass, and to me if you are ugly on the inside then baby you are ugly on the outside. Not to mention they are arrogant and full of themselves, I don't know about y'all but I like my men humble, and don't think that their too good to talk to me because I'm larger then most of the sticks that go to my school. Also, when I get a boyfriend I will feel unloyal to him with me fangiriling and ogling over other men that are not him. Thinking about it, even if he says he doesn't care and he's fine with it, I'll know that deep down inside, that will hurt him and he'll be jealous. I don't want my man feeling like that, so once I have him I will do everything in my power to make him feel good bout himself and not that he's in constant competition with other guys to keep my attention on him. I wouldn't want to feel like that with him, so why should I make him feel that way with me? So in conclusion, I will solely write for you guys and not selfishly for myself.^ ^ You know also, thinking about it, sure I get lonely from time time, not having a boyfriend but now I just don't care! Hahah man I can't tell you how sad and jealous I would get because most of my friends had bf/gf's, and seeing all the relationships I've seen, I've been able to see first hand what not to do in a relationship~ So as Miss A says, I DON'T NEED A MAN I DON'T NEED A MAN! It's so good I'm realizing this now because when I get him I won't feel the that I need him to be complete~ ^ ^