I... am so done.

So my class will start tomorrow, ending my summer vacation.

I could not really call it a vacation... because i did not do so much adventures. the only adventure I did was standing up from my computer chair and heading towards the fridge to get something to eat or drink. But i guess i have to wait... because aftera  school year I can do what i want before college!!!!

going back, classes tomorrow... UGH.

JUST UGH. UGH itself is an emotion. :)))

I am not even ready for school. I still don't have new notebooks. Hell, my books aren't even covered. My uniform is not ready... I am not really looking forward to going to class. What I hate more is that I would see my classmates. Let's just say I am not overly fond of most of the people in my class.

To make things much worse, we will move to our new house by the end of the week, which means I have to leave my friends in my neighborhood. I am not really as anti-social as you think I am. I made a couple of friends and I am deeply sad to leave them. We would probably see each other in school but it would absolutely not be the same because we used to go home with each other and thinking about the memories... I wanna cry.

Also, I have some paperworks which my mom is nagging me to finish.

Entrance exams for college is two months from now, and I have not even reached one-fourth of the book. Giving us the vacation to study for the exam is wrong in so many ways. for a person like me who refused to go to group studies, review centers, it is really hard to concentrate when you have paperworks waiting for you, the TV in front of you, the strong internet connection, the food supplies, and to top that, you're home alone.

Wouldn't you choose the fun life? it's summer vacation for heaven's sake. I have constantly whined about why I have to spend my summer vacation like this. I have only gone out of the house just to catch a movie with a friend. and that is that.

Yes, all I need is time management, motivation to study...

Nothing can motivate me... unless my parents pay me when I pass that exam. (I mean, seriously, I will study hard for that. I need some cash right now. I am totally broke and I need to get my hands on the headphones I had been wanting to have.) or I can get a trip to South korea and have a fun day with my biases. Either will work. But knowing my parents, my family, that is gonna be the last thing that would ever happen in my life.

But i have to let you guys know, the little pressure my parents are giving me...

they want me to pass one of the best schools here because my brothers have failed to. Don't get me wrong, my brothers are not stupid... they're smart in their own ways. (They're smart in playing computer games) And they are also in one of the best schools but not in the school my parents wanted them to go.

I tend to dismiss the pressure but deep down, I know that when I flunk that test, they would surely drown me with their disappointments.

Studying is me dying. 

I have to study to live up to their expectations. They tell me to pursue what I want but the truth is, they are cheering on to something else. I can't pursue arts. I can't pursue photography. IT HAS TO BE SOMETHING MAINSTREAM.

you know, like MATH, SCIENCE, BUSINESS.

Conclusion, I am so done in many ways.