It just feels like everything I do is wrong. Everything I do is a mistake. Everything I am is incorrect. I’m not supposed to be shy or quiet. There’s no reason for me to fear being hurt by people’s opinions. I’m not allowed to feel too sad or too happy because I have it all and no one has a life like mine. I don’t need attention because anything I say isn’t of importance. There’s no reason to voice my feelings because it’s all things that make no sense. How can I possibly be sad or I’m constantly surrounded by people? If I’m constantly being taken out or talked to? Maybe I’m just surrounded by people I feel no connection with. No one I have anything in common with. I’m taken out but get lost in the crowd, I’m spoken to but it’s in words I don’t understand. I can’t help but feel like I’m just a major disappointment. I’m not allowed to make mistakes because I’m the youngest and I’m the only daughter. I need to be like everyone else. I need to smile a real smile. There’s no reason to feel strained because I am everything yet I am nothing. I can’t speak because no one will hear me. I just want some feeling of importance. I need feeling. I need to be filled. I’m an empty echo, a sound that no one really pays attention to because it’s left behind. But it exists. It’s there and my sound wants to be acknowledged. I’m a human who makes mistakes and I have the right to feel lonely and scared. I just want to know that it’s okay to feel the way I feel. I’m hurt. Please stop re-opening my scabs. I’m afraid.

I’m afraid of making mistakes. 

I'm constantly reminded of the mistakes of my brotehrs yet I'm still hidden under their shadowed. I'll never be as loved as they are. I'm the last place child, the final pick, the mistake they never wanted. I'm the one they must tolerate. I'm the shame of their hearts because I do not live up to their expectations. I don't know where to hide. 

I have the marks on arm from your forceful pulling. Stop pulling away from my sanity. I can't take it anymore. Don't hurt me anymore. I'm innocent. Please let me go. 

I'm only a foolish child who makes mistakes.