Socially Awkward [stolen from guks]
You are getting your hair cut and you notice that the stylist isn’t doing what you asked, do you:
A- Politely interrupt her and clarify what you wanted.
B- Smile through the entire haircut pretending you love it, leave a giant tip and then wear your hair in a ponytail until it grows out.
When you are in a quiet place and you need to sneeze, do you:
A- Sneeze at a normal volume and then say, “Excuse me.”
B- Try to hold the sneeze in and, instead, make the call of an alien duck with vocal nodules.
When you get a call from your crush asking you out, you respond with:
A- Sounds great! Pick me up at 8?
B- Are you sure you called the right number?
When you meet your significant other’s parents and you aren’t sure what to call them, do you:
A- Ask your significant other what you should call them.
B- Just speak in their direction and avoid speaking to them directly at all costs.
When you are in class and your teacher tells everyone to find a partner, do you:
A- Stand up and begin the search.
B- Hide under your desk.
When you are shopping in a store and someone is blocking you with their cart, do you:
A- Politely say, “Excuse me.”
B- Pretend to be interested in something nerby until they move.
It’s a Friday night and your friend calls to cancel plans, you are:
A- Really bummed. You were looking forward to a night out.
B- Secretly relieve. There are 115 epusides of Dawson's Creek queued up on your Netfilx.
When you are at a party, you usually find yourself hanging out with:
A- A mixture of old and new friends.
B- The cat.
You’re out shopping and you see someone you know, do you:
A- Smile, wave and say, “Hi!”
B- Hide
When you are on a first date and there is a lull in the conversations, do you:
A- Tell the story about the about the time you went white water rafting in Colorado.
B- Tell the story about how you peed your pants on the first day of sixth grade.
Results:
A (1)
B (9)
Mostly A’s: Nope. You’re not socially awkward.
Mostly B’s: Welcome to the damn club. You are a Screech in a world filled with Zach Morrises. The good news, however, is that maybe this is just a phase. The bad news is, maybe this is not just a phase. Either way, you are in good company because you spend a lot of time alone and you love yourself. Maybe you’re with you’re cat. I don’t really know, I was just being presumptuous. If you are really worried about it, you can go buy this T-shirt. I think that might help. Or maybe it will help to know that I’m one of you, too. And that my dream date is riding in a horse n buggy through an Arby’s drive-thru. That probably didn’t help. I’m now realizing I’m too awkward to write the conclusion to this quiz. Just get the T-shirt.
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