Predictable and Mundane

My youngest sister just said, "Can we watch something not boring like Ate's (unnie/ big sister) things. Her stuff are so boring." (I was trying to watch TVXQ on TV)

Then my friend just called to ask about homework and went, "I asked Lea if she thinks you're still awake and she said, 'yeah she's probably still watching kpop stuff' ahahha you're that predictable, kidding!"

I don't know why those statements hurt, but they're true. I'm dull and predictable, there's nothing interesting about my real life self. Nobody knows I'm an online amateur (still trying to be better) fiction writer with a bunch of strangers, who only know my penname, reading what I write . And I bet if they find out, they won't care either coz being a writer is not an exciting hobby. Much less interesting when they find out that I read/write about Anime and Korean artists like "WTF weirdo" is written on my forehead.

I really find it difficult now.

What do I do? I can't make friends this way, I need to become a closet fangirl. I have gone back to being that far too open and I'm just too comfortable now, I need to hold back.

Thank you my online friends and readers for not throwing bad comments at me whenever I rant :) I really really appreciate that. And thank you for putting up with me even with my ish personality and ultra slow updates. I'm in school for the summer so everything feels rushed and I can't get my brain around writing so please bare with me... THANK YOU :D

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dream_keeper88 #1 Apr 18, 2013 19:12:29

I started writing fanfics just recently, 2010, and until now, I kept it a secret from most. Only three ates know I write. I told them in 2011. Two read my originals. But my other unnie...knows about my fanfics. I started confessing this year lol. I am comfortable sharing my stories with her even reader's comments.

I know how you feel. People hate or judge those that they can't understand. My unnie is just so accepting and understanding of me and my quirks. See, no one would have guessed that I am a kpop fan. I live in a science community. They know me as the anime fan. That's my rep. But not Keeper, the fanfic writer. I'd rather have only one friend who understands me.

With others, I adjust. I just keep Keeper hidden. I only talk about things they like or understand. I inject some personal stories, my likes and dislikes, my opinions. And it is enough for me that they like a percentage of me. Haha.