I've read the story this morning and I was absolutely mesmerized by it. I'm not joking. 
Here I am to give you, PureBride a feedback on your story. As I promised. 

The sentence I loved the most: She looked like she wasn't alive, like her soul burned down along with the Ramen shop.

The part which confused me the most: Where Donghae informed her about the blaze. If his lord was the one who planned all those, then why was Donghae sent to tell Jessica about it? I don't really get it. But I suppose you'll explain more in the following chapters.

Storyline: I give you a 9 out of 10. It was very unique, indeed. But, as I said, I was quite confused. So maybe if I get to know more about in details, I'll edit this once more. A perfect 10 will be granted. 

Description: I see that you gave a lot of thoughts in describing Jessica's feelings and also the surroundings. Well done, I must say. Just one suggestion, try to emphasize a little bit more on Donghae's expression. 

Minor mistakes: Grammatical and spelling error. I noticed some but it didn't really affect the story so it was fine for me. E.g: Didn't have listened to you -> Didn't listen to you/Should have listened to you.

Curiosity: You ingeniously left suspensions throughout the first chapter. I supposed the confusing part was one of it. And, also the last part where Sooyeon and Taecyeon are a couple. Makes me wonder what would the next chapter be.

Improvement: Since you labeled your story as an angst one, I think it'd be better if you describe more about how depressed Jessica was. Maybe she yearns for a numb oblivion. Maybe, for one crazy second, she felt like killing herself to accompany her beloved father. Okay, that was really crazy.

Foreword: Love it! I'm really bad in writing forewords so yeah, I'm really envious of you. 

Questions: Why are there numbers throughout your story? Does it mean anything?

I should be writing more but I don't see many flaws in it. So, I'll just stop here.
I hope you don't find it offensive. If my words ever offended you, I'm truly sorry about that.
I hope it would help you a little on your next chapter.

PureBride, a wonderful writer: http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/219413
My Heart Is A Muscle, an amazing piece of work: http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/219413

                                                                                                                                                                                                   -BluePills520-