I just want to do some s... You know.

Those things that I do way back in 2010. Things that I should be doing right now instead of yhinking if I should leave the house and not care for the woman sleeping beside me. She's a friend... Actually, there two of them S1 abd s2. S1 is a friend of mine then I got closer to s2 since they aresisters....whatever. 

Al that I want to do right now is dtop living and evaporste. Seriously. I dont want to see anyone's faces. I dont want to talk to anyone.

I want to talk to everybody. Gather them up then talk about some s. But I'm tired of t. I'm tired of getting the blame. I'm tired of talking. I know that they will listen but they won't understand it. Well, of course... I don't know.

Or maybe it was just me again. I was overreactin about practice and s again. Like.. how I thought everyone's so serious with. BECAUSE I thought she said 'I'm serious about this bla bla bla'. Or maybe it was just me again that I am serious about this . I want to perform. 

TBH, I want and need to perform ON STAGE. Not just about the money, not for the fame. I want anyone to recognize me and my group as a hardworker. 

It hurts me when someone says 'What am I doing here' when they were the one who actually told us to do the . I said it was fine. That I can cover dance again with friends. I trust my friends. I trust my friends too much that I don't have any secrets anymore. 

No, I don't want to stay like this. Like... there things that we cannot say to each other. I mean, for me... friends are those who cann tell you whatever they want but still care of what you could feel. 

I would rather go back to sleep but then... sigh. Whatever.

I wanna die

.