Just a random BLOG POST to tell people how I get inspired (easily). I get inspired easily, seriously. But i'venever been this inspired because of a friend (Hi, Rai.) From what I observed, she's a talented fella. When we meet we always talk about things such a training, how to audition, such and such. But by the end of the day, she's always say things like "I'll work hard!". That word, makes my day. 

I have given up life since I lost the opportunity to the "Idol industry". I gave up everything last 2010 summer. This company gave me a chance but they told me I still can't train with them since I was 13 years old back then. They told me they would contact me again once I turn 15. 2011, I turned 15. YAY! They contacted me, they said someone would pick me up here in the Philippines to Korea to be their trainee BUT they didn't come. I was depressed. I tried going out, I knew by then that they would never come for me. 

I ruined myself. I told myself that I will never dance or sing again. I told myself that I will quit everything. I told myself that I will forget everything. Months passed by, I will meet with my friends. They will tell me to dance or smth but I will always decline or walk out of the scene. There was this one time that my school friends forced me to dance in front of the Koreans. Those koreans visited my school and they showcased their talent. My classmates told me to do the same even though I haven't prepared anything. (Korean students always visits our school. i dunno why.). I tried. I tried dancing and singing in front of the koreans. I sang in Korean and danced by the ruotines they all know. I followed the flow but the feels won't just come back to me. I just didn't feel like dancing till the end. I just bowed between the dance breakand walked down the stage. I ran away. I ran away like on those fanfics who can't bear to cry in front of everyone. I was disappointed with myself. I was disappointed that I didn't get to know myself. That I didn't get to meet myself competing with trainees. " this entertainment. I'll never come back.", I though to myself. 

My school friends would always look at me, telling me to dance again or smth. I will always isolate myself from others. They will always mock me on how retarded I am of quiting my dreams. I left dancing for months. I left singing and isolated myself. Just me. I go to events with my friends, yes, of course.

Time came when I decided to be just me. The usual happy me and the usual me. But not with dancing and singing. . . not anymore.  

I go out with my friends, practice for my cover group. I thought I was over with dancing and singing but I found myself singing and dancing again. I was so desperate to hold a mic whenever we go noraebang (with my friends). I will be too hyper whenever I rpactice dancing. I will always be excited when it comes to singing and dacing. I even tried rapping! But no lol, didn't work. I'll stick with dancing and singing. I found myself doing the same thing again. Singing. . . dancing. . . being the me again. I wannawelcome my friend who introduced me to COVER GROUPS. He became my first friend that introduced me to dancing again. 

Months passed by. . I found myself longing to be an idol again. I auditioned for TvN but I knew that they will not take me for the mistake I made during the audition. It was okay. . then now I am planning to audition online to some companies. I am training myself. I am going to be the better me.

I met this person that goes by the name "RAI". She's a talented fella. I knew it since I met her. Shecan rap and I think she can dance. Se offered me to be her trainer, I said yes. But I told her that I will train with her so that I could train myself too....

I've always wanted to be an ARTIST and not an IDOL. . . An artist who's recognized with talents and skills and not just by an entertainment company's name. I would like to be an idol who compose her own song. I would like to be Block B, B1A4 and other talented fellas. 

I get inspired easily, eh? HAHAHAHA. Nobody cares tho~