From here, I can hear the distant ringing of her ringtone, the little notification tone echoing throughout her empty apartment. I sit quietly on the edge of the red couch and listen until nothing else could be heard after a soft click of the phone, the ringing finally ceased. It's silent and it's cold, for it's early Janurary yet I'm only clad in a pair of shorts and an oversize T-shirt of her little sister, since all of her clothes are a size too small for me.

Slowly, I make my way up from the couch and stand on my bare feet, relishing the coolness that sinks into the bottom of my feet from the icy floor.

There isn't much to do around the tiny apartment anymore, since she's barely there except for when schedules are finished. I don't excatly know when everything started to seem so bland, but I fear it's because we're growing apart again. How Jessica seems to go places when I just stay back in her apartment and wait for her to come home is becoming tiring and less exciting as when she finally returns after hours, all she does is change, bathe, and climb into bed.

Like I don't even exist.

It was a pleasant surprise if Jessica would even greet me when she comes back.

But that wasn't the case.

I touch the once ringing phone, outlining the rectangle device before unlocking the phone. I frown and place it back down when I see a familiar name and way too intimate message. I sigh heavily and turn away. Does she leave her phone at home on purpose? To taunt me with the neverending calls and messages she gets from people she had gotten close to after finally opening up her heart, to show me that she no longer needed to depend on me so because I was now useless to her?

Angst to no end, I don't know if I want to continue playing this little game of hers, cat and mouse, where I would chase her one time and then she'll chase me back in her arms only to push me away again and again, and again. Exhausting; there was no wonder that I was able to write such painful lyrics at times.

There's a burning in my chest and my hands clench up tightly beside me. They tremble with hurt and as I glance back at the phone, I feel anger rise, in him, and her, and Jessica, and more so, myself.

All of that heat turns into numb pain and my anger disolves into helplessness.

I feel wettness on the side of my cheek and I think rather bitterly, hating how things have become after so long of almost being perfect; almost.

It's my mistake, for not making her love me as much as I love her.

---

Who would've thought such lyrics that I wrote long ago with a healthy heart would apply such truth years later where this time, my heart's slowly breaking.