bEST aBSOLUTE pERFECT

one year. it's been officially one year since these idiots first stood on their debut stage. 

and a whole twelve months since i officially began calling myself a fan of kpop. 

let's start from the beginning. the first i found out about this group was in the form of a dorky rapper, all nervous
and shaking from standing up on an official stage. bang yongguk was his name. and he was featuring in some blue
haired chick's music (said blue haired chick, as i later found out, being song jieun). "going crazy" was the song's 
name. and since day one, i came to find that thick necked man the cutest thing since puppies. what with his shaking
and pseudo psycho look. it was just too cute out nervous he looked. 

then, while on an rping site, a friend recommend me to a song. "i remember". let's be totally honest. i listened to 
that song just because i was told to. nagged to really. and guess what - i remembered (lol) that voice. it was that
cute guy with the blue haired chick. you don't know how hard i smiled listening to his thick voice again. i was happy.
beyond just so. and later, in said site, i was told that this adorable man was to debut in a five membered group. 
i was highly expectant. 

but i would've never guessed he'd become someone i'd fall this hard for.

i'll be honest. i didn't know yongguk from his jepp blackman days like a number of his fans are now. and here's another:
i've never listened to his underground music. why? don't ask me, i just haven't. i like bap as a group. i probably wouldn't
have liked yongguk as much as i do now if he debuted solo. 

and then, i stopped minding bap and yongguk for the longest time. out of sight, out of mind. and i, being brutally
honest, started following exo. there was a cute guy, kai was his name, that sm was promoting. he was to debut soon.
and because sm kept messaging me through kakaotalk (the plus pals ), exo was the only one i cared about for
a while. but even as so, i wasn't all the hype about kpop. if i listened to korean for longer than an hour, i still got a 
headache. school was to blame for that.

but exo dragged out too long. way ~ too many teasers. that's when bang&zelo came out. i hopped back onto bap. 
because ... ... dat man. he was back. the weird awks man. and coming soon, i came to slowly fall for the beauty of
all that is kpop. mostly because i could connect with "never give up". it was all i listened to for the longest time. it 
was to the extend my friend tried at many times to throw my ipod at the wall. 

then tadah it's bap came out. i lost my there. i don't have enough words to explain how much i loved the
tadah series of bap. you guys should know that. it was just beautiful.

bap took me though a lot of both good and bad times. i spent plenty of sleepless nights waiting for their music
videos to be released. even more watching their radio programs, holding back giggles as they said and did things
stupid. especially yongguk's maegyo. waiting for them to be reviewed on eyk even. then sobbing over all the not
so positive things they said about my lovelies. it was official, they had be hulled into their fanbase of their's. 

before they debuted, my brother went to military. january 16th. i lost the only male in my life i came give a damn
about to the government. and while sulking horribly in the corner of my room, they were the people that made
me peek out with a smile as they made dumb comments and acted cute to the cameras.

during their debut days. yongguk participated in a program called "lululala". i had surgery around the time that
show aired. i couldn't see, but i had the program on anyways, listening to yongguk despite the fact that the man
barely talked. i'd remove the ice from my eyes to peek at the man smiling goofily at the camera. sob as he was 
made fun of by the main mc's for not talking. everything about him was just precious.

i made a lot of friends thanks to bap. people i still think of whenever i see himchan being his derpy self or when
junhong blinks those adorable bunny eyes. i came out of my little shell and came to warm up to the world around
me again. 

it's true though. because of bap, i became closer friends with the internet than the actual people sitting in front of
me. the people online understood my matoki feels better than my friends at school. and while i became a loner
and school, my grades dropping like nuclear bombs, i was happy. and that's all that mattered to me. 

more than any other feels in the world, bap stood clear and tall above them all.

and now, it's been a full year since i sat at home, moping about the fact i couldn't go to their showcase. and yet
again, here i am, moping about the fact i can't go to their first solo concert - moving down to dorms on that day -
and i'll say, the last year of my life has been wonderful. i couldn't have been happier. 

i'm not ashamed to say that i'm a BABY. they gave me joy in the world and once again the courage to write and 
make friends with the people online. i'm not ashamed. 

their song gives me hope and their lyrics are exactly how i feel about the world around me. i don't love them 
because what they look like, but their artistic drive. that is why i'm a yongguk bias. his words. they're all wonderful
boys, beautiful all in their own each way.

i've sat here in front of my laptop for one full year now, silently supporting these idiot alien bunnies, and for 
another hundred years, i'll do the same. 

bap hwaiting!

fact: tbh, i thought best, absolute, perfect was a stupid group name when i first heard it.