To You ♥

My first blog post! :D

I have an overwhelming amount of feels right now because it's already January 14 in Korea (as well as here) and it's officially Kai's birthday! So I decided to write a letter/essay/composition/appreciation post on him before I drown in the intensity of my feels. ♥

((Brace yourselves. This is sappy and mushy and mainly word vomit. It's also kind of long.))

~*~

To: Kim Jongin aka Kai

It's weird how I like you this much and you don't even know I exist. To you, I'm just another fan who buys your merchandise and follows your schedules as closely as I can and collects pictures of you because I'm kind of weird like that. I'm just another face, lost in the millions of fans who love EXO just as much as I do. And I might not ever meet you in person, but I'd just like to wish you a happy birthday in my own little way.

It's been almost a year since EXO officially debuted, but more than a year since your first teaser was released. I will honestly admit that you were not my bias at first, although you were the first person I could identify from your group. It was a slow process, one that was months in the making.

When I first saw your teaser the day it was released, I was first struck by how alike you and Taemin looked. And then, I noticed your dancing, how powerful yet artistic it was. But even then, you were just another debuting idol. It was nothing more than that. I followed EXO's teasers only because they were from SM Entertainment, not because of a single person.

Eventually, I grew to honestly like you. You were charismatic and hot as hell powerful and you practically oozed confidence onstage. It was impossible not to be drawn in and you quickly became one of my favorite artists. Your passion, your confidence, your immense love for your work - all those inspired me and made me want to work hard as well.

What really did it for me, though, was watching you interact with your members. During interviews, backstage fancams, fanmeets...I felt like I got to see the real you. Of course, it's not really all of you that we get to see, but nevertheless, it's still a piece of who you are. You're shy and adorable and sweet and dorky and sometimes you tend to zone out at the most random times, but it's endearing. It's real. And as much I love watching you onstage, I love seeing you offstage even more, because that's when I get to see Jongin, not Kai.

I don't have any more words to describe just how much I admire you. You've endured so much just to achieve your dream and now that you're finally there, onstage, I couldn't be prouder.

I love watching you dance, how you move like every beat flows through you, like it's the music moving with you and not you moving to the music. I love watching you perform in general, because it's obvious you love being onstage, with all the lights and the people, doing what you love. I also love seeing you smile and laugh like the innocent child I know is still inside you, with your Pororo references and childlike expressions when you think no one is looking. I love how affectionate you are with your members, always holding on to them in some way. I love how shy you get when the spotlight is on you offstage, even though you do a complete three-sixty when you're performing onstage. I love every single bit of you, even though I may never get to know you for myself.

I know you prefer being called by your stage name, but just this once, let me call you by the name you were born with.

Jongin-sshi, to you, I am just another person, just another fan. But, to me, you are more than that. You are my inspiration and my encouragement and my ideal type. So I'd like to take this chance to say thank you. Thank you for letting me know you, both sides of you. Thank you for making fans happy all around the world. Thank you for chasing after your dreams. And thank you for being the Kkamjong we all know and love.

Please take care of yourself, Jongin-sshi. Don't push yourself too hard, because nothing would hurt us more than seeing you hurt. I hope you spend today surrounded by the people you love and cherish in your life.

So, here’s to the year that has passed, to the year that has begun, and hopefully a heck of a lot more years that will come to pass. :)

Happy, happy birthday, Jongin-sshi~~ ♥

생일축하합니다, 김종인~ 사랑해~~ ♥

Love,

Me ♥

~*~

Oh, I cringe at the sappiness of it all. But I had to let my feels out somehow. xD

I leave you with some GIFs of Kai. Hopefully, your feels will be as much as mine after you finish looking at them. ;)