This is going to be a post about my life and just a general rant but maybe you can relate to me.

Well you will not know that I have slight self-esteem issues; my closest friends only, to some extent, found out about it recently and I don't think my mum really knows about how I feel about myself sometimes.

It's not like I despise myself or anything like that, I LOVE life and everybody in it but I just can't help but feel it's incredibly unfair at times.

My bestfriend is absolutly gorgeous in my opinion; blonde hair, blue eyes, thin and in perfect proportion, slightly on the short side but her amazing personality makes up for it. Sometimes I get insanely jealous of her.

Not only is she beautiful but boys tend to flock to her and pay more attention to her, she's had quite a few boyfriends since we became friends 5 years ago (but she is in no way a ).

The main reason why I'm writing this is because a rather new and gorgeous boy to our school with a deep and y voice invited her around his house to 'watch scary films' and I may have the teensiest tiniest attraction to him but when I found out me and our other best friend were like O_O.

"I swear you get all of the boys" - best friend #2 said, and she literally took the words right out of my mouth.

Not even 2 months ago around 3 boys were chasing best friend#1 at the same time and I'm just kinda like hellooo there are other girls here too. I may not be as pretty or thin as her but I like to think that my personality makes up for it >.>

But she has been having major feels for this other boy who had major feels for her too so she hasn't been returning any of these boys feelings but it's just kind of annoying at times I guess.

I'm not exactly looking for a boyfriend but to have some male attention other than my brothers or my closest male friends would be quite nice.

Sometimes it makes me feel quite insignificant when I stand next to her but she is constantly like shut up and go stand in that corner for being silly which makes me feel a bit better^^

Anyway I just wanted to get those feelings off of my chest which has made me feel a bit better. I'm supposed to be writing an English essay at the mo but I simply cannot conjure up the effort, school has been becoming so repetitive lately but that's another blog post for another time.

TTFN - ta ta for now^^