Warning: Bad grammar + arupt sentences 

I hate nightmares. Like, a lot. I've had twice this week, and every time I wake up, I feel really disoriented.

Last night, I had the most messed up dream ever.

In my choir class, there is this one girl, M, who has a twin sister, H, who isn't in our class. Anyways, in my dream, we were rehearsing for our upcoming performance, and then she was joking with this one guy. She grabbed onto his arm, and he, jokingly, pushed her away. However, he probably used too much force because she fell into this stone, and she just stopped moving.

She stopped moving.

We were all freaking out, not knowing whether or not she was playing around. He wouldn't get near her, afraid of the truth that was eating at all of us. Finally, I walked over to her and turned her over, while calling her name.

Holy , was it a scary sight.

I didn't even know falling into a rock can do that to you.

But then again, dreams are ed up.

Her whole face was bloody, and it was like someone used a knife and chopped off her face. Like, they just freakin' shaved it off. I couldn't even scream when I saw it; I just stumbled back and started crying.

We weren't really close, but seriously, when a classmate dies, you cry. 

Now that I think about it, she died in a really.... odd... and unnatural way....

But anyways, I was crying my head off from guilt and grief, and I met her twin sister, H. Every time I saw H, I would mistaken her for M, and when I come to my senses, I'd look aroud the room for M, but never finding her. And then the reality would once again punch me in the face.

What freaked me out was the fact that I had been the first one to witness her dead, up close too. I had been the first one to touch her after she died. As selfish and as stupid as it sounds, I was afraid that she would come back and haunt me.

I was a living wreck in my dream. I cried and cried and clung onto my friends, scared that the minute I was alone, M would come back. I felt guilt, fear, and over-all hysteria. Even though her death wasn't my fault, I felt so responsible for it.

That was when I realized facing death is one of the scariest thing ever. I'm not just referring to staring death in the eyes when it's about to take you to its realm, but also referring to seeing the death of one around you.

Although my father died, I was young at that time, and I didn't see him. This time, in my dream, I saw it so clearly.

I think over time, I began to find death trivial, seeing it thrown out so casually in TV dramas, movies, and books. Yesterday, however, I once again realized how strong and profound "death" really is.

Now back to the dream.

I was walking with my friend, K, sobbing and telling her about how every time I saw H, I would think of M, and how I was scared. She gave me a weird look and just kept walking faster, and I was freaking out, so I grabbed onto her arm trying to slow her down so we wouldn't separate. She continued her fast pace.

Finally, we reached my English classroom, and the minute I opened the door, I heard

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you~"

The person who held the cake out to me was none other than M. This time, I knew for sure because H was standing right next to her.

I couldn't explain the relief I felt. I couldn't even cry. I felt so tired, so weary, and just so relieved that I could faint on the spot.

My English teacher, as he later explained to me, was in on the plan. He said that my friends wanted to prepare a BIG birthday surprise for me, and he, himself, wanted to test the human psychological effects when facing death.

....Evil teacher.

Oh god, I just can't explain how horrified I was in the dream. Fear was constantly gripping my heart, juggling my sanity and nearly throwing it over the cliff that divided it from lunacy. 

Goodness. Just thought I'd get this off of my chest.