"The thing about friendship is that it's fluid. I-it comes and goes."

 

That's why, we should treasure it while we can.

When I was in first grade, I made my first friend in school in the most dramaesque manner. After being scolded by my teacher for my terrible hand writing, I was wandering around the classroom, near tears, when a girl suddenly approached me.

"Oh, you write messy, don't you?" She asked, hand reaching for my homework.

I let her take the crumpled paper, sniffling and baffled, too surprised to do anything. She looked at it and smiled.

"Don't worry," she said cheerfully. "I write messy too."

With that, she returned the paper to me, waved, and skipped away.

What happened after that, I do not recall. I vaguely remember the shy "hi's" and the bright smiles. I vaguely remember the beginning of a friendship that lasted through the years, one filled with arguments, tears, and smiles.

One I can hardly remember, one so far away, one gone yet so precious.

I'm not sure what had happened over time. The friendship and memories seem to have been scattered and lost along the timeline of my life, buried under the sands. Maybe we grew up. Maybe we grew up and found that we were different people with different places in life. I often imagine us standing at a fork in the road, facing each other. Then, with eyes downcast, we turn from each other and head down our own respective road. The bitter wind stings.

The tears sting.

I don't even remember when it began to fall, when it began to change. I don't even remember when it transitioned from "Yo, we're the three musketeers," to a quiet "hi" that was often not returned. I don't even remember when it transitioned from bright grins and frantic waves to a bare nod of a head acknowledged only so often.

Do I miss it?

Do I?

I'm not sure myself. If I say I do, does that make me selfish? Does that make me seem like I yearn for a past friendship more than my current one? Does that make me seem ungrateful for my friends?

Ah, but I miss it. Of course I do. Friends are always precious, and often, in my dreams, past friends who have moved away would return, and I would wake up with my pillow wet and eyes red.

Yet I know, that is a time we won't ever return to.

The delicate thread of friendship hasn't snapped, no, it hasn't. It has been rolled up by one of us and stored away in our hearts, in our memories, for the stage of teenager life. After, when we gain the courage to face each other again, perhaps one of us will unravel it again, and say to the other,

"Hey, let's go out for coffee."

Maybe that'll be ten years later, maybe that'll be sixty years later, but I hope that day will come.

Song: Girl who can't break up, Boy who can't leave - Leessang

On a side note, one of my classmates.... or schoolmates, should I say, is publishing a book o.o I don't even know LOL. 18 years old, youngest author in my area. It's not a novel or anything, but rather, a book of essays about his view of things. He was the one who said the quote I placed in the beginning of this post too. Dude has got AMAZING writing. Like. No joke.

I'm sorry I haven't been so active ;___; School is really getting to me, and on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, I had a grand total of three hours of sleep. 73 page report written with a group of five people in forty-eight hours, compiled by me, edited by me, endnotes done by me, bibliography compiled by me. Ugh, I was so sleepy I fell asleep without preparing for my presentation and ended up working on it right before school started. I was about to cry ;___; But don't worry, now that it's over I'm probably going to update soon. I'm still getting over the stress though, so be patient alright ;)

I'm working on a Luhan-centric story that's highly similar to the Symbolist style writings, so I might write a pretty long analysis of it. I'm still debating on whether or not I should enter it for a contest though >.> Ah, and I'm also working on a HunHan story that I'm so looking forward to continuing, omfg. And two KaiSoo stories. So um. One day, I'll finish it all, lol.

Till then, see you everyone! I love you all.

Please keep voting for SHINee for the MAMA awards. Our boys are ranking first right now :)