Sometimes, I wanna quit this fandom... it's not the same for me, it has become unhealthy...

my world already revolves around kpop.. and it's not good... it's like I'm living in a dream

and too much of everything is bad, right?

also... i'm starting to realize that why am i wasting my time, effort, and dedication to those people who weren't even aware of my existence..

kpop isn't the same for me now... kpop used to make me happy, but now, kpop made me stressed by obsessing over artists, being delusional in otps, and stressing on how to meet them, on how can I talk to them, how can they notice me..

I'm not just merely admiring them anymore... it seems like I already treat them like my puppets to fulfill all of my requests............... which is wrong :(

I've neglected my life, my reality... 

Kpop was beautiful, but every beauty possesses a dark secret within.. a monster that could destroy you..

I don't wanna be blinded.. I wanna wake up :(

I don't want kpop to control me... I need to control it before it's too late..

Now, without kpop, I feel lost, because like I said earlier, I devoted my life into it... and I wanna find myself again, but not in kpop.

I wanna find the real world