I just wanna share my fangirl thoughts heol~

I originally posted this here http://taeyeon-unfection.tumblr.com/post/50568816391/being-a-fangirl-is-it-worth-it

Hope you guys can relate to this... c:

There are moments when reality hits you how pathetic your fangirl life is.. or how pathetic your life has become because of fangirling…

Most of us have the right fangirl feels at the wrong moment, wrong situation, wrong time, wrong place..

I know I’m wasting my time and money buying those merchandises, but I can’t help it.. It makes me happy and gives me some sort of self-gratification.

Someday, I promised myself that I’ll be able to buy tons of SNSD (which was, is and will forever be my bias group)merchandises… but the sad thing is, I could never relive the concerts and performances I’ve missed to see live..

The hardest thing is, if they get married and moved on with their own lives, we’ll be stuck at being their stan.

Then we’ll realize our whole fangirl lives were only full of delusions. That they have their own personal lives behind the blinding spotlight.

These realizations and realities will hurt. We might not even accept it.

But I can’t deny the priceless moments and experiences I’ve had because of SNSD and the SONE fandom.

Without them, I would have never met tons of amazing people. I would have never learned a lot about life. I would have never opened myself to endless and new possibilities. I would have never felt the ephemeral bliss every time I thought about them.

I will never forget those moments when they made me forget about breathing with just a flip of their hair. Those moments when I drooled and cried over their perfection. Those moments when my heart just wanted to explode out of my chest because of the overwhelming ‘feels’.

Someday we’ll all look back, right at this very moment. When we are still young, immature, and delusional fans – struggling, dreaming, that someday we’ll be able to get closer to our bias/es, that someday we’ll be able to buy every single merch they have released, that someday we’ll be able to watch every concert live, that someday we’ll see our OTPs together, that someday we’ll be able to reach what they have achieved.

We’ll remember how much we loved them. How we learned to care about someone who wasn’t even aware of our existence. How we saved every penny just to buy their albums/merch. How we begged our parents to let us watch their concerts. How we spent sleepless nights just to download tons of their videos and photos. How we laughed at their silly antics. How we cried with them. And how we stayed with them with every single step of the way.

Those silly dreams are what kept us going, what became our motivation and inspiration to strive hard to be successful in life. Those were the little things that made us smile whenever life gets tough. Those were the things that helped us to escape the reality we are in, even for a little while.

Someday we’ll hold their albums in our hands, we’ll listen to their old songs, we’ll browse their photobooks and we’ll be able relive those moments when we first touched them, when we first listened to them, when we first spazzed about them and say “ah~ good old Fangirling times~”

Years from now, this will just become one of our treasured memories, a priceless memory.

When we all move on to our lives, and go to our separate ways, they’ll always have this soft spot in our hearts that will forever stay. And it will remind us that at one moment of our lives, we gave a part of ourselves to them, as they gave a part of themselves to us, and that somehow, once in our lives, we, our opposite worlds, belonged together.

Joining a fandom must be the worst and the toughest thing that ever happened to our lives but it is also the best and happiest moments of our younger days. It is where we felt the sense of belongingness, where we managed to somehow find a piece of ourselves.

And In the end, we’ll realize that everything was worth it.