Closure: She's the one thing that I could never live without.

 

The wind caressed my face one more time as I stood up in the rooftop of the school, the same place where I attempted to take my life away just a week ago. I took my hand up and held it to my face, a bitter chuckle escaping my lips as my bandaged wrist shouted at me, reminding me of its existence. It seemed as if it was blatantly telling me how imperfect I was, how unpretty I am, how weak I actually am.

 

And the fact that it had been the man of my dreams that screamed perfection who saw me when I was at my all time low, it isn't helping my esteem one bit.

 

His exceptionally happy and relieved expression was the first thing I noticed when I opened my eyes, that fateful morning in the hospital. The next thing I noticed was that both of his hands were wrapped around mine, a tight hold that entailed a sense of desperation. He was not letting me go even as I tried to sit up on my bed and harshly refused any of his help. In fact, his right hand even supported me as I moved, and it irked me.

 

Not once did I accept his motions to help me, but he does nevertheless. May it be helping me with eating, helping me sleep, he stays by me and keeps close watch. Heck, perhaps, he'd be the one bathing me if only he wasn't a guy!

 

He never took his eyes off me in whatever I may be doing. I dared not stare at him as I read a book or close my eyes to rest because I know I'll stare into his warm eyes if I do. Even when I finally managed to get out from the hospital and go back to school, he still insisted to follow me and help me in my recovery. Many times I'd tried to reject him, but he still ends up doing things his own way and stepping inside my life, like the beautiful and influential man he is.

 

And I hate it. 

 

I hate that someone as perfect as him is associating himself with the lowly me. 

 

I hate it that he had to stoop down to my level just to help me when I haven't even acknowledged his presence nor even accepted his kindness.

 

I let out a sigh as I leaned on the railings of the rooftop area. I know that Luhan shouldn't be spending time with me, as he still has his own pretty world waiting for him. Zhou YuWei might be angry with me or something with me because of this.

 

Not long after I let myself bask in the wind, I heard the door of the rooftop open, and just like that fateful day one week ago, a huffing Xi Luhan went to where I was.

 

"I knew you were out here." He said in between huffs of breath before hurriedly taking my hand and sighing in relief as hhe saw my bandage still intact. His gaze lingered on my hand for a few moments before he turned back to me and smiled.

 

"I arrived on time, didn't I? You weren't going to do something deadly again, right?" He asked me, but I couldn't say anything back. His face was still as angelic as it always was, his smile making everything brighter in my surroundings. If anything, he became even more handsome after this week. And surprisingly, he became more... grounded.

 

I just continued staring at him even as his fingers laced themselves with mine.

 

A familiar clenching in my chest immediately kicked in when Luhan's right hand reached out to turn my chin, making me face him. His eyes bore into mine as he let his hand trail down my face.

 

This... is wrong. This is not how its supposed to be.

 

Nobody as beautiful as him should be wasting time on me.

 

Especially after what I have actually learned of him while staying in the hospital.

 

That's why I opened my mouth to speak, and I held my breath as I looked at his reaction.

 

= = =

 

"Stop holding on to me, Luhan."

 

My chest tightened as I heard her say in a way that entailed built-up resolve and decision. All my movements were frozen in midair, my expression shocked. Not once did she call me by my name in that tone of voice, even when she was intensely denying my assistance.

 

"Wh-What are you saying, Shirin?" I let myself ask when I felt her break her hands away from me. My chest began to hurt as she sighed one more time and silently faced the wide expanse of scenery exposed by our school's rooftop. She still said nothing after that, and it pained me.

 

What does she mean by that?

 

"I knew about how you were actually related to the death of my parents. It wasn't really your fault but you took responsibility." She said, still not looking at me. My eyes widened at this, but having a hunch that she was going to say more, I stayed quiet.

 

"I've heard you while talking to your parents one time in the hospital. I couldn't feel angry at you when all I could hear is just you tearing up on the phone while begging your parents to stop extending their help to me because you wanted to be the only one helping me. I just pretended to be asleep because I didn't want to let you associate yourself with me even more. It doesn't look right. It shouts at my face how charity-case I seem to be when it comes to you." A bitter chuckle escaped her lips after she continued speaking, and with another sigh as her laughs became subdued, she smirked and closed her eyes with her body leaning once more to the railings.

 

I don't know how I looked at that moment, but all I knew was that my whole world faded except for her figure. My heart pounded with every second that I stared at her. It stunned me to know that despite something huge like this, she managed to bring herself down again. Not once did I treat her well out of pity. My heart wouldn't be able to take that.

 

The next thing I knew, Shirin was already shell-shocked in front of me as I grabbed her, spun her around, and held her face to let her eyes be in contact with mine.

 

"How the hell could you think that way, Shirin?! You were NEVER a charity case for me. NEVER."

 

I wasn't expecting the next words from her, though.

 

"Why, then? I've never been in your way here in school, not even once. I've always looked at you from a distance because I know someone like me isn't bound to be  breathing the same air as you do. You're way out of my league, Xi Luhan! You can't expect a simple thing like this to change everything! So, tell me WHY?!"

 

I couldn't say anything as everything she said was true. She wasn't the person who'd talk to me or be in close range with me. But why was I helping her?

 

The answer, to me, was as evident as the sky that is up above our heads.

 

When she tried to get away from me, desperation coursed through my veins in such a speed that it made me hold her in my arms as tightly as I could.

 

I knew that if I don't say this now, I'll never get the chance to. 

 

So, with all my strength, I kept her in place and screamed all the feelings in my heart.

 

"I LOVE YOU, SONG SHIRIN!"

 

Her body stiffened as I let the tears forming behind my eyes break free. I don't know how she'll look at me now, but I didn't care so much at that moment. I let myself break out into sobs as, for one more time, I told her what I really feel.

 

"I love you so much, Shirin. I fell for you when I saw you crying by your parents' grave, and I never stopped since then. I just couldn't approach you because I wanted to protect you from all those members of my fanclub here in school. I didn't want you to be bullied or be hurt. But damn it, if I had known it any sooner, I would've broken all rules of society already because you would try to kill yourself when the opportunity comes!"

 

She remained unresponsive to my tightening hold, she just continued to breathe as if nothing is happening. But it didn't deter me.

 

I bravely pulled back, took her face into my hands... and pressed my lips to hers.

 

"I'm not beautiful, nor perfect. I'm just like any guy out there, Shirin. I also fall victim to anger, I curse just like the next guy student here in LinXue, and I also know how to appreciate the unnoticed things in life. I might be living in a castle, but at the end of the day, I'm no different from the guys who long for that one girl in their lives to look at them. I am, still, just a man who wants you to be beside me so much."

 

I didn't dare open my eyes when I pulled back from the kiss I shared with Shirin, afraid of seeing her reaction, afraid of what she might say. I didn't want to see her face at that moment, no matter how much I wanted to gaze at her until I die. I knew not if my actions were right, as long as she's in my arms, I'm fine.

 

I've never ever tried to find out if she likes me the way I wanted her to, but at the moment, I just let my heart break free.

 

"Luhan, you might be mistaken. I'm no Zhou YuWei. I'm no model, nor actress. I'm nobody---" She began to say behind my closed eyes, but I cut her off.

 

"And I don't care. I just want you. You as you. You as Song Shirin. I love you as you are, plain and obscure you might think of yourself."

 

Daring to open my eyes, I caught myself staring at two teary orbs that made me clutch at my chest involuntarily. Tears were rolling down her cheeks as I continued to stare at her. My heartbeats quickened, and I found myself breathing deeply at the proximity of our faces.

 

"I'll make a way to protect you from everyone else, Shirin. I'll get rid of the fanclub for you. I'll tell YuWei to stop forcing herself onto me since I don't love her anyways and I only treat her as a friend. I'll do everything I could. Just stay with me."

 

Despite both of our tears, I managed a smile at her, letting my eyes covey all the love I felt for her at that moment.

 

"Why, though?"

 

The smile on my face began to fade away when Shirin began to ask me, my whole body stiffening at her question.

 

"Why waste time on me, though? Why love a simple person like me, when you can have anyone else?"

 

I took a deep breath and let my heart answer for me, wrapping my arms around her waist and looking up at the sky while I spoke.

 

"The air we breathe is all around us, we know that for a fact. But we never see it. It's as simple and plain as anything else around us. But take that away, and no one could breathe, no one could stay alive."

 

Shirin just looked at me, which I knew by catching her eyes, while I was telling her all this. When she never reacted, I let myself smile before once more pressing my lips to hers.

 

"You're like that to me. You might think you're nothing, but you're that one simple person I know who could very well become the center of my whole life and I'll not mind."

 

When I finally pulled back from the kiss, the same smile I loved to see from her finally appeared on her lips, and I knew, then and there...

 

... I finally am myself. I'm the happiest man on earth.

 

Once more relishing the moment, I let my lips once more touch hers in that one kiss that completed my life in a second.

 

"It's the simple things that matter most, Shirin. And you're that one thing I could never live without."