School. I hate it. Really I do. I've been in school foralmost 21 years now. Non-stop. I'm good at it. I often call myself a perpetual student because that is exactly the way I see myself. I find merit in learning and knowledge. I respect the homeless man who has two masters degrees over the dumb-as-a-box-of-rocks millionaire. I love the struggle to achieve and do well. I like to learn about subjects in which I excel. I love to push myself in subjects I'm naturally not very good at (read: maths and hard sciences).

However, the educational system is not built for people like me. Schools are, above all, social institutions. I am an introvert through and through. Being around all of those people for that long... just absolutely drains me. I sleep for hours when I get home. I become depressed. I stop seeing the few friends I have because I'm too tired from dealing with strangers. Obviously, I don't HAVE to interact with these people. That doesn't solve the problem. Sitting in a classroom of 30+ people, remaining silent the entire time, hiding in a corner, hoping people don't talk to you, is taxing in itself. Granted, I also have issues with anxiety, but it really makes things difficult.

And it's not that I'm not a social creature (all humans are, save for those dealing with some rather extreme psychological interferences), I just prefer to be social in my own ways. I am perfectly happy seeing my friends 4 times a year as long as I regularly contact them via text message, facebook, twitter, tumblr, e-mail. I just don't like seeing you too often. I don't like phone conversation if it can be avoided. Sometimes, it's necessary (You  just can't fangirl properly via text, y'know?). I also don't like hearing from people too often unless you're really close to me. I have this problem with guys because most of them think all girls want that "Good morning" "How's your day?" "How'd it go?" "Goodnight" all throughout the day. I don't. That is the fastest way for me to block you.

I don't know where this is going. I'm just tired. Between school and my social obligations, I'm stressed out. It's that stress where you just want to sleep all day. I'm not sure I even expresssed myself properly. Anyway, I have school tomorrow. My friends want to go to the noraebang on Friday... I always have fun when I get there... it's just gathering the motivation to go that becomes difficult.