Review: 

Title: 3/5
The title, ‘His story, Her story… Their story’ isn’t quite the type of story where I would stop and look at it through a list. It is relevant and it isn’t too clichéd. It’s unique in its own way, which I like. When you stated ‘story’, I’m guessing you mean their point of view? If so, it is relevant so you do switch off on point of views so the reader gets to understand what they think personally. It’s good to have a first person point of view of the character. 

Appearance: 2/10
You don’t have a poster or background which is quite disappointing. For such a good story to not look so attractive in a person’s eye. It looks pretty dull and plain. I hope you would request for one to make the story more attractive and active looking. Your font and font size changes throughout the chapters which makes it look unorganized. It would be best if you stick to the same font and font size. Or if you wish to change it suddenly, change it for the whole story.

Foreword: 8/10
Your description and foreword are rather organized and have an overall summary of what’s going to happen. There were a couple of errors here and there but overall, it was great. 

Plot: 9/10
The idea was great. This story is going by smoothly which I extremely like. The ideas are great and flowing very well with the story. I like how Nichkhun and Victoria are slowly getting along as they live together. 

Characteristic of the Characters: 4/5
You definitely portrayed the characters well. You showed Nickhun’s and Victoria’s point of views quite a lot which makes the reader understand their thinking which is ideal. It would be best if you showed a picture (a poster will be fine) of the characters so the reader knows what they look like and can image them in their minds. 

Story Flow: 9/10
The story is going by rather smoothly which is perfect. I like it a lot. The ideas are connecting very well and at a steady pace. 

Writing; Spelling, Grammar, and Punctuation: 15/25
You have many errors in your writing, make sure you read over your work. Reading it out loud may help.

(Description) 
Wrong: A question asked time and time again : Can two completely different people fall in love with each other?
Correction: A question asked time after time; Can two completely different people fall in love with each other?

Wrong: Her View is that love is beautiful and it has a true inner meaning than how love is displayed on the outside.
Correction: Her view of love is that it’s beautiful and has a true inner meaning that what is displayed visually.

Wrong: His View is that love is painful and horrible.
Correction: As for his view, he believes that love is painful and horrible.

Wrong: He is Nichkhun Horvejkul, 28, is a pompous man with milions to his name. Despite his happy upbringing and carefree lifestyle, there's something missing frm his life, believing that his parents have never loved him and his brother is the only one in their eyes. Hatred is all he thinks he can feel. Love is all but a myth.
Correction: There are a few spelling errors in here. The word, ‘milions’, I believe should be ‘millions’. ‘Frm’ should be ‘from’.

(Chapter 1)
Wrong: In this family it’s Five is great and Six is a crowd.
Correction: In this family, five is great. But, six is a crowd.

Wrong: I can spend spend spend without a care in the world.
Correction: I can spend and spend, totally carefree.

Wrong: It was raining outside and like always I forgot my umbrella.
Correction: It was raining outside and like always, I forgot my umbrella.

Wrong: I say for the nth time and went back to my desk just like I do every single day.
Correction: I say for the (I’m not sure what you were going to write) time before going back to my desk, just like any other day.

Wrong: I still have 5 inutes to spare.
Correction: I still have 5 minutes to spare.

Wrong: The beautiful sun sets from the sky and I can start the ong journey home.
Correction: The beautiful sun sets from the sky and I can finally start the long journey home.

Wrong: his constant pestering was really getting to me. Just like it walways does.
Correction: His constant pestering was really getting to me. Just like it always does.

Wrong: And maybe Vic can’t meet Prince Charming
Correction: (That doesn’t make any sense. I think you mean, “And maybe Vic can meet Prince Charming.)

(Chapter 4)
Wrong: How can I baby-sit if I m in the office and working?
Correction: How can I baby-sit if I’m in the office, working?

Wrong: I hate kids. especially babies.
Correction: I hate kids. Especially babies.

I see that you’ve edited most of your chapters. The vocabulary is overall, average. There are a few grammar mistakes here and there. Your sentence structures are something you need to work on. Use more commas often than using ‘and’ over and over again.

Curiosity of Reading More: 5/5
This story is definitely one of my favorites. I can’t wait for you to update and I’m glad that Nichkhun and Victoria are getting quite along now. I’m exciting and curious about what happens next. 

Originality: 3/5
This story isn’t original and unique. It is a rather common plot around Asianfanfics. Having an one night stand, getting pregnant, finding the father, and having to marry him is quite common. The way you wrote it was rather original in a way. 

Bonus (2/5)
- Original Ideas
- Curiosity of Reading More


Total score: 65/90 | 72.2% B
I’m sorry if I gave a score lower than expected. I’m a rather strict grader. You have quite a few errors in your writing. My advice would be the re-read over your work and read it out loud. If you read it out loud it’s easier to catch an error. If you read it to yourself, your brain will auto-correct and think its saying what you think you wrote, meaning you will have less chances of catching an error. This is overall a good story but not so original.