JongKyung.

Gosh, I`ve got tons to say about this.

...but homework first(;

I`ll definitely blog about this later.

definitely.

___________________________

EDIT:

I was suppose to blog about this like that day, but then I just all crammed up with work, so now here I am like 2 whole days later talking about it.

...so. I don`t think I need to explain what happened and if you know me, I`m a beyond-obsessed JongHyun fangirl, so I don`t think there`s a need to even question my fandom.

He`s my soulmate as I claim(;

So the actual news, the allkpop article came out at like 10:36 PM EST, but that night I went to bed 15 minutes early, so I didn`t get to see it(which I`m glad because or else I`d fail the two tests I had the day after LOL)

But yeah~ i came home from school the next day to have at least 4 people tell me that Shin SeKyung stole my man xP (Yeah, Perlye, that`s what you told me xD)

I`ve gotta say. I was in deep shock. The next hour or so, my mouth probably hung open ~ looking like this

O; . . . and hour later when I finally established the fact. . . . I probably looked something like this o_______o..

(*notice, no where along the lines did I looked like this TT______________TT *)

I swear, for about two whole days, I was in an aftershock state. It`s like, " Wait, this happened. Oh yeah, that wasn`t a dream"

Now that I`m done talking about my initial emotional reaction, this is somewhat how I feel/think/thought/felt about JongKyung.

First of all, I`ve gotta say, the thing that screw so many people over this time about this scandal is the fact that IT`S SM ENTERTAINMENT

Yup, that`s the thing. Any kpop fan would know not to ever believe in them. Heck, if they did, why in the world did JYJ ever happen? Yeah, remember?

Of course, the majority includes me. Even now, I`m still experiencing cognitive dissonance with this controversy, so to speak.

I wouldn`t say anything is necessarily fake nor is anything necessarily real. I think it`s better for fans, not just Shawols or Blingers, but Kpop fans to give it some time before we all jump to solid, concrete conclusion.

Because, me ~ I support this coupling. They`re adorable, they like each other, he`s definitely a nice guy and she looks like a sweet girl. Sure ~ why not?

But  the problem here is that fans (me too) feel the need to know the genuineness of this actual "scandal". Is it true? or is it staged? Are they really dating? Are they faking?

SM Entertainment tells us it`s true and confirmed, her agency told us it`s true and confirmed, AND our eyes are telling us that (pictures? yeah. remember those lovely papparazzi pictures.) So why don`t we believe it?

--Because we choose not to. And by that, I`m not even directing it towards those delusional fangirls who probably live with their head in cloud thinking that they`re going to marry SHINee one day and have their babies and whatnots. To be honest, I meant those fans who would really just like everything to make logic sense. Yeah, that`s me too.

 I mean, I see evidence, or, so called evidence saying that this coupling is all staged and fake for publicity, covering up JYJ injunctions, and whatnots--so somewhere deep inside my fangirlness I want to think that this is just another fake thing SM did.

But moreover, sometimes I suspect myself. Am I being a hypocrit? Am I the hypocrit?

It`s like I`m taking my time out of my day to sit here in front of my computer screen to criticize other fangirl behavior, yet am I the one who`s really hopelessly delusional? I suspect myself of being in a subconscious psycological stage where I`m in this denial over a shocking event to the entent that I don`t understand the fact that I`m the one who`s still not willing to accepts facts. What do you think?

If you can`t tell yet, I`m honestly not trying to make this blogpost too opinated to one side or the other. I`m just trying to express the frustration I feel right now. It`s so confusing that sometimes I grow a tiny tiny tiny tiny wish that JongHyun never revealed this.

On a sidenote, this is what I wrote on the day this news came out:

"  I`m just so frustrated over the fact that -hurt Shawols are taking this against JongHyun and using it as a fact to not support SHINee anymore.

But quite frankly and sadly, that`s the possessive mindset of so many fangirls out there. I wish I could change their opinions regarding the newly confirmed couple because it`s really frustrating to me that some Shawols see JongHyun only as being a potential lover, I suppose. Like, don`t chu like him more than just him being a hot, single idol?

You know, i`ve thought about this before. Like what if he gets a girlfriend one day, I honestly thought I`d go cry my face off and want to book a plane ticket to Korea and do something about it, but no . . . o.o somehow, it made me just love this very Kim JongHyun so much more♥ only now i respect him lots as an idol, performer, singer AND a man(: I`m so proud of my babii~

Judging from those pictures of him with SeKyung, the way he looks at her. Oh, he looks so in love♥ i like thiis(; His smile there just increased global warming by like so many percents.

On an optimistic note, I officially ship JongKyung now(; Like I semi-did before.

P.S JongHyun, you know, you`ll forever be my fantasy soulmate no matter what–even if you marry. Only there`s a fine line between obsessive and posessive(: "
 

Now that`s all I can think of at the moment as I`m writing this about stage one of the news. As everyone most likely knows, SM took measures against this scandal, now blocking out all outside contact with SHINee and SNSD.

I`ve gotta admit, my initial reaction wasn`t great. I was in school when I saw the news in my Business Law class. I thought SM was just being the possessive b*tch they usually are and punishing SHINee and SNSD for JongHyun`s actions. In all actuality though, I think SM did something right for once. (Someone tell me the sky is going to collapse)

I really think that SHINee needs to be shield away from wild reporters and the hungry media and general audience for now until this all dies down and calms down a bit. Give it some time and pray that everything will be alright.

Despite the fact that SM is shielding SHINee away from too much publicity for everyone`s sake (as if this hasn`t had enough attention -.-), I`m still so worried about my SHINee boys.

Watching their goodbye stage, I almost felt stressed for them. JongHyun didn`t even do his signature peace sign he usually does during the Hello performances. Not only him, everyone looked so worn out and drained for some reason. I remember the happiness I saw in their eyes the first time this song was performed TT^TT.

I understand the fact that SHINee are a very close-knitted group of boys and SNSD are really close to their hoobae`s as well, but if you`re human, it`s inevitable you take the blame onto someone if your priviledge and freedom has been stripped away from you without anything even being your fault. Especially SNSD, since they`re just coming back and deserve the interviews and whatnots.

Because of that, I`m worried for JongHyun. Although he seems rather nonchalant (as seen during Hello Baby), we all know that every single one of the SHINee boys are really responsible kids. I just really hope JongHyun doesn`t take this onto himself and blame himself for all 14 of them not being able to have any freedom. I`m worried about that boy being overstressed more than anyone (i`m sorry, he`s my ultimate bias and my soulmate)

As if they did not have enough stress already with all tight schedules and being an idol, now there`s the drama to worry about and an risky upcoming concert. That concert had better turn out to be okay, or else I`m going to somehow get LSM to reschedule the concert in New York/LA or something and show those shallow K-Shawols what REAL fandom is by showing SHINee what international support they have.

(sorry, not being racist or judging, but you know those K-Shawols are extreme)

Right now, I feel extremely frustrated with myself that even though my SHINee boys are probably extremely stressed out or something, and that people are forming negative opinions against my SHINee, yet I can merely sit behind my computer screen and rant. I`m so upset with myself that there`s absolutely nothing in my control besides the fact that I can type words onto sites and persaude people with my personal feelings.

I really want to do some kind of a support group/thing for SHINee and JongHyun right now or else I`d feel completely useless. I want people to know, that No Matter what I`m going to Support SHINee and JongHyun 100%.

As my motto goes, " There`s a fine line between obsessive and posessive."

and I stay on the obsessive side (i.e JongHyun, you`re still my soulmate, or else I`d die)

Sorry for major spammage with my unorganized thoughts. I literally sat here typing whatever came to mind for like an hour. ^^;;

With Love, From Tracy(: