"It's funny in some way...

that someone you never met face to face

could wind up being so important to you

...sometimes...

they can even become 

a best friend...that you love

cherish

and

feel as if you could pour out your whole heart to them

and they would understand...

I wish I had gotten the chance to do this...

but I waited to long...

now...

I hope that person will be waiting for me 

or listening to my thoughts and prayers "

- Lee Eli (a.k.a. me) 

Some of you who read this may already know about Eli (BreakingHearts) and what happened...when I found out...I was truely devistated and cried for hours on end...I regreted that I hadn't talked to him in so long and now...I can only hope that he will hear my prayers and how much I miss him and everything I wanted to say to him that I never got to say...I think I might be putting my stories on hold cause I was in the process of a long due update when I found this out...but I fear that all my pain and loss will be shown through what I write. So I am sorry to all of those who were awaiting my update but... *sighs* I don't want my stories to overflow with sadness. Eli had a special place in my heart...that I didn't even realize he had taken hold of until this happened...something else happened also but...it's not for me to tell. It has something to do with my "appa" and it was something that effected him greatly and I'm very close to him so it affected me too. I-i wish I had gotten to meet Eli...but now I'm writing a book that is going to be dedicated to him so I hope...I hope he'll like it...I'll be leaving aff for a while just like Lynn...I haven't eaten or slept eversince I found out...and to make things worse my real dad something to me that made me feel like I had been stabbed straight through the heart with a sword. He told me "The people you meet on the internet aren't your true friends...you can't trust them till you know them well in real life" Almost all the people I count as true friends are people that I've met on the internet...I'm going to post a follow up blog to this later because I have to get off the computer right now.