HEY. AYO WHASSUP? YEP, AFTER 63412382193812093 I'M ONLINE AGAIN. 

YESH GUYS, I'M SENDING YOU GUYS SOME FLYING KISSES AND WAVES 

WHY?

I'M PRETTY SURE I WON'T ONLINE THAT MUCH ANYMORE BUT LET ME TELL YOU GUYS SOME FACTS:

1. I'M NOT A LIAR

2. I TRULY LOVE YOU ALL

3. I WILL FOREVER REMEMBER AND CHERISH YOU GUYS

4. I'M NOT LEAVING. I'M ON A MAJOR HIATUS. (on tumblr and on aff)

5. I FEEL SAD

So since school started, I've felt pressured. Not by my parents, BUT MY SELF. Other than that, since I joined the screening for our school newspaper and the results that were posted says that: (on my own explanations and what's important to me) only monique passed (alex, monique and I joined as writers) so we were a bit sad but we said, It's fine, rather than having two passed, one left. BUT THEN, our teacher said that Alex actually passed to, as literary writer but she chose just to be a layout artist which she's a lot better at. So evidently, I'm left behind. But I didn't dare show my sadness.

and heck I didn't dare blam anyone else but myself. 

From then I felt empty =) BUT TO NO FURTHER ADO, there was this time when we were packed with projects and all and then we had to go to our house hold meeting in YFC (Youth for Christ) though it was optional. I was of course, pressured (being on pilot class) but I still chose to attend our House hold. So during that time, I told myslef "heck julia, don't share your stupid emo side" but of course, I FAILED. I FREAKING CRIED =))) AFTER SHARING MY SAD FEELING TOWARDS THE LINK thingy =)) hahahahahah, and then!!! and then, tita Shiela, a parent coordinator and a head and organizer that supervised our house hold offered my a blessing!!! KYAAAAAAAAAAAAA =)))

She offered me to help ate Ranica on handling the YFC blog that speaks of the activities YFC holds. ;_; Heck, it was really something big... I just... ;_; I felt so overwhelmed, happy and scared. 

Scared that I won't do good. 

But anyways, fighting! I'm still having a decision whether to accept it or not. THOUGH I KNOW DEEP INSIDE, I WANT TO. I HAD TO TAKE RISK. I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT I NEED TO IMPROVE. I MUST TRY AND AIM FOR THE SKY =)))

hahahahahhahahaha, help me guys? <3 any advice?

AND I WOULD TRY TO ONLINE AS SOON AS I CAN AGAIN.

PS. CAN YOU GUYS MAKE JEIRAZ READ THIS? I MISS HER <3 ^_^ 

And by the way, one more factor affecting me is that aff is blocked on the country I'm staying. It's quite hard to deal with slow internet connection. shdjasda. So feel free to follow me on tumblr (where I can online more often compared here though I don't often online there that often too) 

THIS IS MY SECRET TUMBLR. NONE OF MY FRIEND EVEN BEST FRIENDS KNOW ABOUT THIS. I'M TAKING THIS ONLY CHANCE IF YOU WANT TO FOLLOW ME 'COZ, OF COURSE WHEN I RANT, I WOULD LOVE TO RECIEVE ADVICES FROM YOU GUYS <3

my tumblr: RESPECT PLEASE DONT SHARE THIS LINK ELSEWHERE

Once again, I love you guys ;_;

-DERPETTE