Taemin, Yet Again

 

I took the school bus home. As soon as I was dropped off at my destination, I started the long walk to my house: Three blocks. That's a very long walk for me, okay?

It wasn't too bad, but it wasn't pleasant either.

Mommy Kibum saved up enough money to live here, although I'm not sure how. I live in a rich neighborhood, the kind with fences around every tree, not a single crack in the sidewalk, and not a dog with a leash. Which was good, since dogs don't seem to like me very much.

Speaking of dogs. . .

"RUFF! RUFFRUFFRUFFRUFF!" A halmoni's chihuahua began barking at me furiously.  I've seen them around a bit, but I always avoided dogs as much as possible, so I never talked to her. I gave them way, almost falling off the edge of the sidewalk in the process.

"Oh! Don't be shy," the Halmoni gave me a toothless smile that I returned weakly. "Little Angel just wants to play. Isn't that right, Angel?" she cooed at the snarling and snapping chihuahua. She bent over slowly, starting to unclip the leash.

"I- uh," I stuttered. "I don't think that's a good-"

"Nonsense!" she waved a hand at me flippantly and released the beast.

---

Ah. . .

My. . .my face. My flawless face.

When the chihuahua was done tearing my expensive jeans and chewing on my shoes, I was sprawled on my back, hiding behind my backpack pitifully.

"Ohohoho! That was quite the play session, wasn't it!" The halmoni patted the dog's head lovingly and slipped the leash back on. "Wasn't that fun, little boy?"

Huh? Little boy? I am eighteen years old, thank you very much. A senior in high school. But to her,  I nodded weakly, and stood up slowly. "Well, we'd best get going. Angel has an appointment with her hairstylist. Goodbye!" she said cheerfully as I waved and walked away. The dog was still looking at me, so I stuck my tongue at it and scurried home.

---

OH, THANK GOD THE ALMIGHTY EOMMA IS WORKING TODAY.

When I got home, my dinosaur dad gave me a nonchalant glance as if he couldn't find anything unusual about my appearance, but he did slap me on the back when I got home.

"Ohoho, Taeminnie! Did you have a good day at school?" 

"It was fine, dad," I lied. Yoseob pawed at my knees excitedly, and I patted him until he ran off to corrupt something else.

"What's up with the scratches?"

"I ran into a dog."

"And you fought it off? Impressive! What kind?"

"A chihuahua." I said proudly.

There was suddenly an awkward silence.

"So, uh," Jjong scratched his head. "No one's making fun of you for. . ."

"No, no!" I reassured him quickly. Well, my parents being homoual has been quite the taboo topic ever since my social life began, and ever since my friends knew what gay meant, they gradually drifted away. Except for Onew, of course. But he has always been a little strange.

I honestly don't get what's so horrible about my parents being gay. I mean, Kibum raised me just as well as any other mother, if not better. And my dad might be kind of immature and erted, but I'll bet you a thousand won (that's barely a dollar, mind you) that there's no other dinosaur like him. He's almost extinct! 

But, uh, they also have this mindset that I'm still five years old. . .

My dad suddenly got on all fours. "Come on, Minnie! Ride on my back, for old times sake!"

Uh. . .

Aaaaaand back to reality.

I looked back down at my homework.

-cos²xsinx [sinx(x/2 + cos²x/4x)dx∫]cos²xsinx(xsinx/2) + (sinxcos²x/4x)∫ = ?

Wha...

What is this dark sorcery!? I know I'm like, asian and all, but. . .

I stared at the complicated calculus problem for an extremely long time, all cuddled up in covers, sheets, and comforter, which were all newly washed. In fact, everything in my room was clean. My carpet was vaccumed, so, no more dorito crumbs. All the unwashed plates were taken away, all my desks were cleared, my windows and mirrors were polished to perfection, my clothes were either in the washing machine or tucked neatly away in my closet.

I'm not used to this. I sniffed the air. Lemon-lime air-freshener. And windex. I don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing. It's so different.

I peeked at myself in the full length mirror across the room, admiring my hair. Somehow, my legs stood me up. I glanced at Eomma's iTouch, which she let me borrow. I typed in the password: 3-4-8-2. Easy to remember, because the numbers contained a letter that made up a word. D-I-V-A. You know, like when you text on a flip phone. Does that make sense?

I pushed "american playlist" and shook it to shuffle to a random song. Then, I set it down on the table and turned the volume up.

An upbeat tune began to play, and before I knew it, I was bopping my head. The music ran through my head, all my nerves carried the beat through my body. My limbs became a slave to the bass.

Yep. Cute, innocent Taeminnie is dancing.

"Oh, Taemin, you y beast!" I purred at my reflection.

 

---

 

I'm not too sure how long I was dancing, but what I do know for sure was when it ended. I tripped over the iTouch charger and bumped my head on the wall. It made a very disturbing clunk.

Ahh. . .ahh, it hurts. I held my throbbing skull pitifully, curling into a little ball and hiding my face in my lap.

It was like that for several minutes, and then I started re-playing the situation in my head.

Huh. . .

Haha. . .

Pfffffff. . .

"Hahahahahahahaha! Oh my god!" I laughed at the top of my lungs like a serial killer that just finished murder. I held my stomach, because, well, I get fake abs when I'm laughing really hard! Oh, if only.

Knock, knock, knock.

"Taemin! What the hell!? Is everything alright?" The Almighty Kibum called from outside my door, quicker than a mother hen. "Can I come in? What are you laughing about!?"

Aww, crap. Must cover up!

"Oh, windex!" I cried, grasping the multi-surface cleaner dramatically. "You're just so funny!" Alright, maybe not my best move, but at least it gets Eomma away from my door. I waited for a response.

I heard a little bit of shuffling from the other side, and then I think I heard, "I don't even want to know. . ." along with footsteps leading away from my room.

SUCCESS!

I laughed silently about the whole thing, holding my belly until I calmed down a little, with only the occasional evil chuckle. "Heh, heh, heh." I poked my stomach hopefully. My face dropped. 

My belly is squishy once again.

 

 

 

Annyeong, my faithful readers! I'm sorry nothing's happening so far, but I'll try to twist it up, I promise! I mean, adorkable Lee Taemin...JongKey...

THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS. :]

Oh my god, ten subscribers. I think I'm gonna cry. That's a lot for me, okay!?

Dudes, do you know the trouble I went through just to find out what sound a head makes when it hits a solid surface!? You know, when Taemin bumped his head. I had to [stupidly] bash my head against a wall. After I woke up, I got around to writing the ONE word. Oh, the things I do for you readers. I love you so. <3

Comment. Everytime I see that  black little "New Comments!" I spazz.

Subscribe. When I find that "New subscribers!" sign, I have a .

Okay? Okay.

I love you all.

Eat lots of McDonalds.

Be fat.

Me gusta.