okay so I went to B.A.P showcase few weeks ago. I suddenly have this huge crush on Yongguk after the showcase ends. It's just something about him that attracts me after seeing him in person. so I started googling things about him, about his underground hip hop era, his talent in writing songs, his twin (well I don't really want to dig abt that because according to some people his twin doesn't want to be in the spotlight), his tattoo, his pre-debut works, he smokes, this and that.. when I start to think of it, I actually miss him.. It's just something that can't be explained. I watched his video over and over again, that smile, the same smile I saw few weeks ago at the showcase. I mean, I did went to other group showcases before but I just don't know why, Bang Yongguk gave this huge impact on me. sometimes watching his video makes me sad, some other times it made me laughs. But actually it hurts me. I just.. missed him T,T

I was informed that Yongguk deleted all of the photos he had in Instagram and it breaks my heart. why did he do that? does this mean he will delete his posts in twitter too? does this mean he wants to cut all direct contacts he had with his fan? but why? few days ago Heechul deleted his twitter, minutes before his birthday! though I'm not Heechul's fan, I felt kinda sad because I did followed him on twitter. my friend is a huge fan of Heechul and she cried when Heechul deleted his twitter. I thought, why should her cry over things like that? It's stupid.. but now, Yongguk deleted his instagram photos and I felt empty. let alone if he decided to do the same with his twitter. please don't. or else, I'll delete my twitter as well..