Story title - My Charming Key

Author - http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/139329

                          (kamikazexox)

The story has a good storyline to follow, adding in some comedy towards the characters. It really is having a good start in the chapter, starting with a dream, giving out a better understanding that it's early morning. The choice of words are used correctly, there's just some errors in the typing but that wouldn't affect much of the story.

I love the "Pause" and "Play" It really gives it a good point to introduce a new character.

"PAUSE.

This is Kim Kibum--widely known as Key. Key belongs to a popular group of (5) boys named Shinee. They happen to be the ultimate Kingkas at KBS Academy (with something of a fanclub too; oh my). For KBS Academy this isn't odd--infact, even the principal is fine with it. He believes it gives the school some life, and happy girls= happy school. This Academy after all is not just known for its education, but for its luxuriousness and great environment. Each member of Shinee contributes to the lovely environment of the school (in their own unique way).

Of Shinee--and of the rest of the school, Key is known to be the biggest diva in all of diva history; hence he calls himself “Almighty Key”.

PLAY." Segment of the text.

The choice of words for the introduction is used correctly, just be aware of "luxurious" there's no need to add a "ness" in it, it's fine that way. You involved SHINee in the introduction sightly also, making readers, get curious about their unique way of contributing with the school.

I loved the fact that you made school sound awesome there, using a cheerful, vibrate type of words to make this school look much more better.

S U M M A R Y / MY O P I N I O N

I love the planning of the story, maybe you can improve by adding in some further information about why she's starting to like Minho. For example, "Slowly, she started to get attracted to the one of the kingkas; Sporty yet handsome, The flaming charisma, Minho" Add in some more adjectives while explaining slowly, how she got attracted to him, just to give in some further information.

Also, since the girl is the main character, describe a bit of herself instead of using only the word "carefree" add in some details.

The rest is pretty much A W E S O M E, just choose your words carefully.