IIIIIII LOST MY PANTS!
I'm definitely gonna edit Written/Unwritten/Rewrite Me. I've thought about it and I've made my decision. The whole plot and characters need more polishing. I feel like something's missing. Like I haven't really expressed what I wanted to say good enough. I feel like the plot is flat, kind of. Or it just seems to me like that. And I haven't really payed attention to the other aspects of the story. Like... There are some things that I've mentioned earlier but I haven't done anything to use them for some kind of plot-twisting device...or something... I don't know. Or I haven't explained some things the way I should've. I know that the things that need explaining are just details that probably none of you has even noticed, but they're literally poking my eyes out and calling on to me. Like, how come that Heechul gets the spare key only now, in the 2nd chapter or something, but he and Han Geng were in a long-term relationship and they were actually living together? Shouldn't he be having the key already? Or what does Han Geng do for a living? What happened between Heechul and his family that drew them apart? What are Siwon's most annoying habits or what are his funniest quirks in this fic? Heechul tells us NOTHING! I feel like I've been writing too much from Heechul's perspective--I mean--yes, I know I'm writing from a first person, but it just looks like Heechul's been telling us about his life waaaay too much from his perspective and that he forgot to explain some things about the other characters. It's like... This fic has been only and only about him. It's like writing a diary and mentioning names but not really saying who is actually your brother, your boyfriend and what kind of persons are they. OHMYGOSH, I think I'm in a quarrel with my main character! And I thought he was awesome!
I don't want to write a fanfic and say "this is just a fanfic", I want to work on it and polish it until I accomplish what I've always wanted. It's not really about the readers that want to read, it's the writer's ego thing. I love writing and I love Wormmie, but I feel like I've matured to a certain amount where I'm able to look back and say "Oh, how come I didn't know this earlier?" I think that my way of thinking just...changed all of a sudden. It's hard to write about adults from the adolescent's mind, and not to mention male gay Korean adults. I mean, yeah, it's just a fanfic, I know, but it's not just a fanfic. Also, this thing looks like it's written by a girl, it TOTALLY looks like it's written by a girl! A dellusional girl that likes fantisizing about two gay Asian guys falling in love and being all mushy and getting laid afterwards. And breaking up. And all that that follows.
I don't even know what kind of style I wanna use. I mean... I know I look up to Bukowski's style of writing, like, a lot, and it's like... I'm thinking "That kind of style is not Bukowski's standard" or something. It's not so easy to know your original writing style until you're like...middle-aged and experienced enough, I guess... I've always thought the best writers are older people because they know themselves and the world enough to write objectively, while not judging or anything.
I think I've started buring out after the chapter when Han Geng left... And before that Heechul seemed to whiny and the chapters were too angsty for my taste. I don't know, I've started disliking angst because it seems immature. I've also started disliking too much fluff. I generally don't like fitting into one box that says "ANGST" or "FLUFF" or "ROMANCE" on it, I wanna do everything because--real life is everything. It has some mushy moments, it has a lot of boring moments, too, it can be depressive if you look at it like that, but it can be funny, too. I've always thought the master of writing is the one who can narrate about person who sists in front of the computer all day in a way that it never gets boring when you read it. Because what is the point of writing a life that's too dramatic when you don't know anything about it and people can't really relate to it? It's like... You're writing about those super-crazy or angsty characters but that's easy because you can fantasize all you want. And it's so paradoxical because real life is just in front of you, yet you write about things you can't possibly know so well (though I take my hat off for those who can...actually I don't, I don't really have the patience for things I can't relate to, I'm that narcisstic) and obviously you while writing about them. What's so hard about writing something like "The weather is boring" or "I've broken up with my girlfriend. She's such a ."
Hmm, I think this is the perfect time to mention Bukowski again. Because he's awesome. Read his "Post Office". Then read "Factotum". Then "Women". Then "Ham on Rye", because that's the hronological order. Of course, you can read "Ham on Rye" or "Women" first because they're the best. But if you're interested in reading about life of a person who works in the post office, read "Post Office" first. Read his poetry, too. It's too touching.
OK, I think I've lost my track of thoughts.
IIIIIIIIII LOSTS MY THOUGHTS, RIPITTO FLIPPITTO SIPPI SLOW MOTIOOON~~
LOL. I'm in a train. I'm going home. I thought was gonna be late but I made it on time. Yippie!! I don't wanna see my dad in Sunday. OHMYGOD, the guy that just sat accross me has a gorgeous red "Dell" laptop, I can't take my eyes off it! It's so...pretty and red. He seems cute, too. A Siwon-ish type. With eyebrows and all. AND GOSH, HE SMELLS NICE. And wears glasses! , I THINK I'M GONNA START LAUGHING, SCUMBAG BRAIN, DON'T DO THIS TO ME. I'm biting my lips on the inside in order not to start giggling. OH MYYYY OH MYYYY, HIS LAPTOP IS SO AAAAAY. Don't look away from the laptop, don't look away...
OK, I'm done. Brb, dead.
Comments