Responses

Because I feel that I owe you all responses. 

I think a lot of you missed my point. Or you blew what I said to different proportions. I'm not saying I'm changing, I'm just saying there's severe conflict. But I don't think I can change. Because I don't change. If you read all this, you might understand a little better. The ones you guys should really focus on will be marked in red. 

First off:

brattygurl: It' ironic because your argument was exactly mine. Hence the "call me a filthy hypocrite." I hated it when people jumped from Super Junior to EXO. I hated it. I wanted to scream and cry and throw things at a wall.

And I'm sure that this is just a phase. But it's hard. It takes a lot for me to like anyone, and the rapid pace with which I liked Kris was too fast, too much for me and I can't handle it. Clearly note the "I will probably regret this." I know myself.
I know I probably will never change my ultimate, because hell, your ultimate is what it is. He's your ultimate. Maybe it's the fever talking, or it's the crazy disappointment talking. But to be honest, it's not the fact that he drank. I'm Asian. Drinking is tolerable at any age for goodness' sakes. I could care less that he drank. It's the fact that he promised he wouldn't, and he did. And I will forgive him for that.
There's so many other factors that I can't possibly voice. I appreciate your response and I loved that you gave me a piece of your mind. Hopefully, this will allow you to understand my mentality at the point.

 

allrisefishy: Hyuk is still my ultimate. Because everyone is right. I can't change, and I won't. I am a stubborn son of a gun. I can't replace someone I've liked for more than a year over someone new. I just can't do it.

 

sweetybear: Before I start my response, let me tell you: I love you unni.

But don't you think your comment is a bit hypocritical coming from the girl who changed her username because she was "going crazy over Yunho?" 
You're one of the people who honed in on the drinking and immediately assumed that it was my one problem. I hate that HE BROKE HIS PROMISE. Drink all you want. Just don't promise you won't and then do. That's all I'm going to say.
It's funny because all of your arguments for justifying, I've done. I've said it before. I just need to believe it. Give me time. 
 
 
EastSeaStrawberry: You never comment, and here you are. Fantastic. You can't change your mind about breaking a promise. There's a difference. Make promises you know you can keep. Go ahead and blame me. I won't change my ultimate because I can't. I've been too invested to change. 
And you're completely contradicting yourself. You can blame me for letting things happen... That doesn't work. That's like blaming someone for an accident or something gone wrong.
But I'm not here to fight. I just wanted to say, my ultimate will stay as is. He just needs to work harder to stay that way. Because I don't think I can express the disappointment I feel when he broke his promise. A promise is a promise. Just like I promise to believe, and so I will. 
 
 
SungRa: I agree unni. But I'm sick of always liking Hyuk because he's "y" or "hot." I want to like him because he's a good person. And he is. He really is. But I want to see more of that sweet side. 
 
 
That is all. To everyone else who commented, thanks for your understanding.
But I've made up my mind.
 
 
My ultimate will stay as he is. Because I can't change him. And you're right. I only just knew Kris, I can't exactly let him usurp someone I've known for a longer time. 
They say that you can love madly, but you can't love blindly. 
And I've been blind for a while. That's why when I see Hyukjae's bad sides, it hurts.
From here on, I promise to accept all sides of him.
Because that's what I should have done from the beginning. 
 
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Comments

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golferox
#1
Jilly, you are freaking out about who you like more and you don't even know them! Just pointing this out...it doesn'treally matter who you like more. This is why I don't have an ' ultimate bias'. I say I amSungmin biased, but I equally spazz over Mi, Kyu, hae, hyuk, Tao, minji, top and a bunch of others. I can't pick one to say is better to me than every other idol because they are all goodin different ways. I don't know...maybe this is one part of the kpop fandom I will never fully understand. To me, I Amin it because I like the music and I find it entertaining, not to find a person that I can worship from a far and brag that I know all about them because I never will. And honestly, I don't want to...I find it kind of creepy that people do this
EastSeaStrawberry
#2
I can blame you for letting things happen. Only I can though, because after nearly killing me and disowning me because of kris, i can blame you for letting things happen.
When we were arguing, you struck yourself and hyuk as an example. You questioned my loyalty and asked if hae was the only one for me, because hyuk is the only one for you, and there isnt anyone else.
I can blame you. But only i can.
Im glad to know you arent changing ultimates. Because changing your bias to kris after all this. I would blame you. If i got attacked by you for even approaching kris. You should at least get blamed by me for even considering changing your ultimate to him. That would only be fair.
No double standard, neh?
that's the only reason. I don't hate you, quite the contrary.
yeojaboy
#3
welcome back on track!! aigoo. :))
i feel like hyuk now. i felt like i'm about to lose a yeojababe after you wanted to replace hyuk to kris :))

SILLY YB.XD
renprix
#4
oh gawd... i thought you're serious of changing your ultimate...
kimchikrazii
#5
Glad you're back darling (: