Love Behind the Scenes 

Title: (8/10) Does your title fit your story?

Very eye-catching, clever title. Give yourself a pat in the back. (Also, I love you for making an EXO-based fan-fiction.) *runs away from accusing people claiming I bias to your stories* Then, you may ask: Why did Steph-sensei dock me marks while all she did was praise it? CAPITALIZATION, dear. How it appeared: Love behind the scenes. How it’s suppose to be written: Love Behind the Scenes. Please correct this immediately. Other than well, a well-crafted title. Concedes with the story and I have no problems whatsoever.

Poster/Background (7/10) Comments about the graphics?

Very colorful poster, I must say. I loved the creativity of the EXO-K and EXO-M members reflecting of each other. It might be a little blinding to some readers; might cause some turn-offs. Frankly, I admire the background more that I did with the poster. It’s simple, yet not distracting. One criticism: ‘Scenes’ in the background AND the poster: misspelled. Fix that immediately. Though yes, I first didn’t notice, but I tell you: one perceptive reader of yours will soon divert their attention to that spelling error. –tauntingmusicinthebackground- Nice attempt anyway.

Foreword/Description (19/20) Is the description accurate and give details about the story?

Description: Short but sweet. Loved it. For scanning readers like me, that short sentence will instantly hook me into unveiling the upcoming chapters. Very well done. Foreword was a sneak peek into the world of Jae Min. Very intelligent way of conveying the happenings in her life. You weren’t spilling the beans, but you haven’t made the story a complete mystery either, which I totally appreciated. I would’ve preferred that you at least included a character list (No character profiles; how I detest them) of the characters partaking in the story, but oh well. –shrugs- What I can say though, is that there’s no sense of alluring originality in the foreword, which I will discuss in the plot section. *fan-girling over the quality of your work*

Plot (25/30) Is it an original plot line? Was the plot easy and clear to understand?

Chapter 1 comments: Hmm... I anticipated that this would be written in Jae Min. It would’ve been perfectly written in her perspective, since it is about her everyday life after all. However, if you were intending on focussing on ALL of the characters, then I can salute you for this. Well-crafted descriptions; able to visualize it clearly. I would’ve preferred you included background music to set the mood quickly. That’s just an option. Don’t feel pressured to include it. Is Jae Min a girl or a guy? *sends herself in the abyss of confusion* If Jae Min is a he, pardon my spelling corrections. I see that you like to the following= Lu Han: blah blah blah Jae Min: blah blah blah Please AVOID this. It disturbs the flow excessively, and sounds very robotic. If it was a play, per say, it would acceptable. But dang girl. This is a fan-fiction. We don’t see real-life authors do this, do we? Let’s follow their example. I must say; Lu Han’s personality is aegyo-filled, which I squealed over. It’s either the way you described him or it’s just that I’m a total er when it comes to Lu Han. Instead of exciting time reading this, I was actually quite bored. Your writing style sure wasn’t at fault; it was the way you conveyed the situation. There’s no source of blissfulness coming from Jae Min. All sounded so... robotic. Yes, this is a narrative story, but please add some spice to writing. This is an encouragement for us to continue reading. The description about Baek Hyun’s honest feelings was intelligently written. The last sentence is a good cliff hanger, I must say.

Chapter 2 comments: Confusion: You mentioned that Jae Min transferred from the ‘other’ dorm, which I would assume belongs to EXO-M. Yet, why was Baek Hyun in there? Jae Min is very feminine for a guy; almost to the point that one would have the misconception of him being gay. (Pardon my usage of words.) But since this is , I can overlook that. I also find Se Hun’s characterization to be very unique. A thumbs-up for you. OMO. HunHan. Got to adore that. MUST. CONTROL. MY. OBSESSION. Ahem. In a more professional note, let’s continue on. I liked how Jae Min’s quirky cleverness overthrew Lu Han’s. (The part where Lu Han and Jae Min began talking the HunHan relationship.) They kissed? A cliff hanger again. Well-crafted. Very original.

Chapter 3 comments: The overprotective nature of Se Hun is one of his charming traits, which is likeable. But I guess the readers aren’t as appreciative as I am. Arguments: very typical. Concluding phrase: Se Hun must’ve loosened up his strict personality, huh?

Chapter 4 comments: It was a nice graphic of Jae Min. He’s adorable as well. I guess I can’t say anything else regarding this chapter, but I suggest you just include that in your foreword.

Chapter 5 comments: Uh-oh. It’s rated. I loved how you’ve incorporated the OTP’s loyal fans drool over. (One of them being me.) Oho. That’s one y, nasty chapter. I must say, I feel an unceasing pity towards Tao. Actually, scratch that. He’s in love with BOTH of them?! –pleasantly confused- But, why was he shedding tears? Wouldn’t he... join in? I sound so dirty. I’m underage for this stuff, so I’m not knowledgeable. I guess the main problem here is with their gay relationships, in which Jae Min is stuck in the middle, wondering what actions he should take.

Overall, the concept is widely used by authors in AFF. But I got to praise the own twists in the story, which is quite unexpected.

Grammar/Spelling (15/20) Are there any spelling/grammar mistakes?

Ch. 1:  Dumped on the counter were a few brown paper bags loaded with fresh food for the fridge and some of the demanded snacks for the cabinets. Quickly, Jae Min strolled over to where the curtains were - knocking over a few cans here and there as she walks - and slid them to the sides letting in the bright morning shine. Are you hungry yet? Well, go brush up and come back out to eat. The food's almost done. Ok. (One period is enough.)

Ch. 3: Jae Min: Stop. I promised him that I'll give it to him. Sehun: (gets mad) So? It was going to die sooner or later. Sehun: It's just a damn plant.  It is alive, you moron!

Chapter 5: Tao: I- I just can't. It'll only hurt us all.

Minimal errors here and there. These are a few that brought my attention. Please change it.

Enjoyable-ness (5/5)

Very enjoyable. ‘Nuff said.

Flow: (3/5) Did the story move too fast? Did it move too slowly?

It wasn’t fast nor slow-paced, which is a breeze. However, as I mentioned in the grammar section, the fact you’ve included colons caused me to dock marks.

Bonus (5/5) Was the story just great? Anything specific about it that caught your eye?

I just thought I might as well. Bonus based on your OSM writing style. Be proud.

Total:  (99/105) or 94%

Whytheglumface’s Note: Hey there! A great story. I came to enjoy this story very much and had a good time writing this review. I tried to include some sense of humor so that you may end up having the sense of responsibility improving your story rather than gaining a heart attack from this and halt writing the story. I apologize in advance if I’ve offended you in anyway. Have a nice day!