It has been a little over a year since a tragic incident occurred that would twist my regular, granted lifestyle into a scattered mess: my dad’s death. My dad happened to have internal bleeding in his brain, which resulted in him being declared “brain dead” and ultimately dying as the life support was taken out of his system. I wasn’t able to witness his death, for my sister and I chose to be at school, unable to come into an acceptance of these turn of events. However, when my dad was brain dead, I suddenly felt a throbbing pain in my chest that made me burst into unexplainable tears. Despite the distance between my dad and I, I was still able to feel a sense of ominous apprehension that proved me right a couple of hours later. The funeral and a trip to the Philippines soon followed suit. I encountered depression for the second time in this particular school year, and although I made efforts to force myself to believe it was due to my grades, it was the only method and resort that made me express my grief over a soul that has been a big part of my life. There were four of us: my dad, mom, me and my little sister. With the four of us together, we carried the same burdens and encouraged each other along the way, just like the base of a building. However, with one section vanishing, we were imbalanced for quite some time. My mom grieved and shed tears that were excruciatingly difficult to hear. For some odd reason, during this time, my sister and I refused to even let a single tear escape the windows of our eyes. It just felt morally wrong to cry when my mom is in the verge of destruction, literally. I know she was aware of her remaining duty to raise us up, but I bet, if it hadn’t been for us, she would’ve killed herself; the pain was just that immense. Even up to this day, I worry. I worry that I am still in the stage of numbness. Never have I come across the thought that my dad is gone. He always just seemed to be there. I’m not delusional, but somewhere in the corner of my heart, I bet he’s still fending for his two little angels, just spiritually. Yeah, it that I won’t have a dad to witness my graduation, that I wouldn’t have an actual dad walking me down the aisle on my wedding day, not having an awesome grandpa for my children to look up to, and not having a man whom my mom can spend a forever with, just like how they vowed to do so. But then again, who can really disrupt the flow of life? My dad’s death was inevitable. It was just up to us to acknowledge the circumstance and deal with it.

By the way, can you guys leave some suggestions of shoujo animes I could watch? Thanks!