My dog died today.

I came home from school to find my mother crying at the kitchen sink and she told me.

He was 9 years old.

He was a big, fluffy dog. He was an Alaskan Malamute, which is like a husky only bigger. He had one blue eye and one brown eye and was all white, except for a strip of black and white hair that ran down his back. He was gorgeous; no matter where we went with him, we would be stopped and told how beautiful our dog was. He was a beautiful dog. He made everyone smile and want to pet him because he was so beautiful.

And he was the sweetest dog a person could ever have. He always looked like he was smiling. You could just look into his eyes and feel that he was happy. He was definitely happy with us, and we all loved him so much. He would never bark at anyone and never once acted aggressively - not even once. He was just a big sweetheart; he was good natured and trusting, even though he was abused as a puppy - tied up to a fence and left alone.

We got him at a dog fair. Ironically, we came to get daschunds, which in comparison to Alaskan Malamutes are rodent-sized. We always laugh about that: we went to get daschunds and came back with our dog. But my mom fell in love with him the first time she saw him - we all did. I remember how excited we were the day his owner brought him to our house: the day he became a part of our family. He was 2 then and my sister and I spent days and days outside with him in the yard.

He was so playful and precious. He just loved to be pet and kissed and hugged.

He'd let you put your face right up to his, and he'd let you kiss his nose.

I would kiss his nose all the time because it was so cute. I called him my silly and I'd always call him that when he'd walk into the room.

I had so many things that I said to him that I won't ever be able to say to my cats. It just doesn't seem right to recycle those phrases.

I honestly feel bad looking at my cats now; I feel like since my favorite cat came into our home, I was negletful of my dog.

I feel bad for ever complaining about walking him or feeding him or freshening his water. He loved his walks so much; walk times were his favorite part of the day. I'm gonna miss how he'd perk up and run to us barking in excitement every time he'd hear his collar jingle and the ends of leash fall to the floor. He'd always stand in one spot and pee for a ridiculously long time; I always said we were going on more of a "pee" than a "walk." And we'd always get stopped and by our neighbors - all of our neighbors loved my dog. Everyone knew my dog and asked us about my dog often.

He was so loved. I really wish he was here right now.

He died from irreversible kidney and pancreatic damage. My mom said it was really bad and that the best we could have done for him was to bring him in for fluids.

But he could hardly stand up.

His heart was beating fast and my dad and my neighbor had to pick my dog up and put him in the trunk because he didn't want to walk up his ramp anymore; he didn't have the strength.

My mom decided to euthanize him, and she was the only family member in the emergency vet hospital.

She went in to the room where my dog was and she knelt down. She made the sign of the cross and wrapped her arms around my dog.

He died right there in her arms, only a few seconds after she had hugged him.

And that was it.

It was his time to go.

I only wish I could have been there with him to give him one last hug and kiss his nose one last time.

The last time I pet him was yesterday at 6:00 p.m. He was so pitiful: he couldn't even stand up to drink his water. So I sat with him in the grass as he just lapped up his water like there was no tomorrow. And then I pet him and told him he was pretty and that I wanted him to get better because I hated seeing him like that.

I kissed his nose twice, and I pet him for a long time.

I just didn't think that he'd leave us all so quickly.

Today was such a happy day.

I just hate thinking that while I was laughing and having fun, my mom was holding my dog and saying his name for the very last time.

I'm really sorry for posting this. It's too sad and I shouldn't be posting about my personal life like this anyway.

But I just feel like I have to do something to honor him. And since he isn't here anymore, this was the only thing I could think to do.

I'm crying so hard right now; my house just feels so empty. I wish he was here, but at least I know now that he isn't suffering anymore.

I just...I really loved him. He was my first dog, and he was unlike any dog I have ever met.

I feel like it was no accident that we met him at that dog fair: I think he was meant for us.

He was a gift and a treasure, and all of my friends and family will remember him fondly for a long, long time.

To all of my wonderful friends on this site: I love you very, very much.

And to my gorgeous boy in doggie heaven: you were the best dog any girl could ever ask for.

We're never going to replace you; we all feel that no dog could ever replace you ever in this lifetime. <3333

I hope you're running in the snow up there, because the Florida heat was always a bit uncomfortable for you. You beautiful sled dog, I hope you pulled up there with you all of our love for you and all of the fond memories we have of you. I hope you are happy with your pack and that you will howl at the moon for us each and every night. I hope that you have someone to pet you and kiss your nose and to tell you how handsome you are. I hope that you can hear us say your name. I hope that when I walk, you will run above me, followed by your pack and your sled that holds our love for you. I'll never forget you, my beautiful wolf. You were the center of our pack - our beloved son, brother, and friend. And most of all, I hope that you never lose that smile on your face and that sparkle in your eye; I'll always remember your smiling face when I think back to the days you were here and were loved.