Annyeong, peeps! 

Okay. Wow! First blog post just has to be an angsty, sad, depressing one.

I'll keep this one short, people. Just want to get something off my head.

You see, most boybands and girlbands nowadays are very young. Young but very, very talented! Let me name a few:

B.A.P's Zelo : 15 years old.

All members of NU'EST with the exception or Aron(18y.o) : 16 years old.

SHINee's Lee Taemin : 18 years old.

Wonder Girl's Sohee : 19 years old.

IU : 18 years old.

2NE1's Minzy : 18 years old.

I don't think I need to go rampage on Wikipedia to show you how many young singers on Kpop we know.

New bands like B.A.P and NU'EST are the youngest on the list I gave you, obviously. They just debuted not too long ago. But bands like Wonder Girls, SHINee and 2NE1 debuted way before B.A.P and NU'EST, and some of their members are still under 20 years old! I mean SHINee debuted back in 2008, so how old was Taemin when he debuted? *counts* What, 14 or 15?

*FLIPS TABLE*

I'm not saying anything bad about young singers in the Kpop industry. Actually what I'm trying to say is, I tip my hat for them. I totally respect them. What did I do when I was 14 or 15? I couldn't even remember! I was probably at home playing games when they were training their off trying to pursue their dreams. And that's really awesome for them, to realize what they want to be in such a young age.

I'm currently 17, and some of you are saying "So why is this crazy girl blabbing nonsense about how young Kpop stars are when she's still young too?" I understand. You might be thinking I still have the same chance as those Kpop stars to pursue my dreams too.

Too bad. I don't know what my dreams are.

*pulls hair in frustration*

I mean, I'm in my second grade of High School and next year I will have to take the oh so important National Exam and University Entrance Exam. This is a huge deal for everyone. Here in my place, where not everything is stable and safe, people really have to stand out and to be successfull. I guess it's the same everywhere but I guess since I live in a developing country, everything is taken more seriously. The problem is, up until now I have no slightest idea what to do.

I have no idea what major I should take, what I want to be, what my goals are, my future plans. None, zero, NEIN!

Seeing Kpop stars who are in the same age as me, or maybe younger just struck a nerve in my head and kind of make me realize I should start planning something. As if they're mocking me and encouraging me to get a life. They can be successfull, be a major international hit, the front line of their country's international breakthrough. And here I am, not knowing what to do with my life.

I'm not trying to make you feel angered if you are in the same state like mine, because I know I'm not alone in this. It's just that it's really, really, reaaaaally bothering me. I want to make a decent future for myself but I have no idea what I'm good at or what things I like to do.

I'm lost, yeah, that's probably it.

People keep on saying that everyone has their own talents, goods and bads, positives and negatives. Each person has their own time to develop and finally bloom into an amazing individual in their own ways.

I do believe in that. I mean, we are an individual and no one is exactly like us.

I just wish someone would give me this ultimate knock at the door, this divine intervention to make me realize that "Hey! Yeah! That's what I want to do!" You know, help me out a bit...

This whole I-don't-know-what-to-do-with-my-life issues frequently bugs me to the point that I want to drop all my fics in this site and stop writing fanfictions altogether. I feel like I should stop messing with someone's life and get a life of my own. I even wanted to stop all this fangirling thing going on about Kpop and drop it all off. If possible close my self from Kpop stuffs, especially the bands I love the most... (Okay, honestly it's mostly about the hotties in SHINee, damn you guys.) Reading and writing fanfics feels like I'm going into their lives, even if it's not even true.

Now don't kill me for that statement above, it's just my own personal feelings!

But then I always love the feeling of waking up and finding those "New story comments!" or "New wall post!" alerts on that side bar. That made me really happy and I guess writing is a part of my life somehow.

So to everyone who reads my stories and is reading this pointless drabble of mine, I want to say thank you. 'Cause you really made my days and I really appreciate every single comments and feedbacks you give me.

Really appreciated guys.

Okay, enough with this depressing subject.

I guess I just have to keep on living and see how everything will turn out. I mean, just like I said earlier, I'm still young. Tender age of 17, where I'm nowhere near a stable condition of mind and feelings. Not a kid anymore but not yet an adult.

But yeah. This is me and my worries.

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phiiee signing out!

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NP = BOOM SHAKALAKA SONG! Fantastic Baby - BigBang