I do not care how gorgeous a man is, but I do not fall in love with anyone until I get to know more about him.

I may have a crush on him. I may want to get to know him. I may even flirt with him. But I will not suddenly declare to myself that I have fallen in love with said man and that I will have his children and we will be together forever.

I doubt you would, either.

So tell me, why do you write like this?

The moment I laid eyes on him, his perfect brown eyes, his jawline chiseled by God himself, and his hair that framed his beautiful face, I realized something: I love this man. 

What you mean to say is that you love this stranger who you have never met. 

Why, that is simply excellent!

I would LOVE for the fic to end like this, though:

After introducing myself to him, he led me to his big, white van with some candy. I should have known he was a e. CURSE MY CHILDLIKE FACE.

Or, you know, something along those lines. Because I'm evil like that, and perhaps that's actually a bit more realistic than what you had in mind.

The way romance is written on AFF really can be ridiculous, and it makes me assume they've never actually experienced the emotion. Love takes time to grow, and it's odd for it to grow between strangers. There needs to be some sort of relationship there for it to be based off of, or else all it is is lust or maybe even just friendship.

So go back, romance writers. Go back and think about the way your fic started out. Go back and think about ways to make your story a little more tolerable, a little less ridiculous. Go back and make this place a wonderful home for glorious fics.

Go back.

Go back.

GO FREAKIN' BACK BEFORE I KICK YOU THERE.

Let us meet in the comment section, where I will be hopefully praising you and not murdering you with my eyes and words. 

And if your fic is already free of this terrible happening, come back.

Come back and let me hug you.

(NOTE: This is just me being a stupid brat again about romance fics. Don't listen to me. Well, do listen to me, but only listen to the main message. Ignore everything else.)